Before Rania could even stop me, flames flew toward us.
"Eek!"
Time slowed to a crawl.
*Clack.*
My body straightened.
*Clack.*
My waist curled into a circle.
*Whoooosh...*
The slow-moving fireball passed through the ring I'd formed with my body and hit the floor. I rolled forward twice, then dropped to one knee, arms spread wide, and froze.
*BOOM!*
A massive explosion erupted behind me, just like a Power Ranger. I grinned, feeling proud, until—
*Fwoosh!*
"Ack."
The smell of burning wood made me whip my head around.
"Aaaah! F-fire!"
I frantically ripped off my shirt and flailed it to smother the roaring flames. The fire only grew brighter. It was like fanning a bonfire.
"It'll burn itself out. Let's go, Master."
"N-no. I owe that kid a debt."
"Huh? A debt?"
Laina and Mia's words barely registered.
'The dungeon! If I stay here, the kids might die!'
I wasn't sure how this place differed from a Gag World, but I knew enough about the mechanics of dying.
'I have to save them!'
As a member of the Gag race who rides rollercoasters without seatbelts, playing it safe was out of the question. I headed for the dungeon with a grim expression.
*Bang!*
I kicked the door open and descended into the basement.
"Kids! Get out! There's a fire!"
"F-fire?"
"Ugh... ugh..."
The children, who hadn't learned to speak properly, bit their tongues and widened their eyes. Meanwhile, the flames grew, and acrid smoke began to seep into the basement.
*Clang! Click!*
I quickly pulled out the key, unlocked the door, and began hauling out the kids, who sat there with dazed expressions.
"N-no!"
"Waaaaah!"
Thinking they were being dragged off by a black mage, the children slumped down and started to cry.
"Aaaah?! K-kids, don't cry! B-be good, okay?"
In the chaos, I panicked and finally tried to scoop up a child. Just then, Noah emerged from the next room, brow furrowed, and shouted.
"Stop it! Do you want everyone to die?!"
"Hic!"
The crying child froze at the harsh reprimand. Noah looked at the children and said.
"You can't talk, but you can understand, right?"
As Noah made eye contact with each child, they hesitated, then nodded. Noah gripped Nero's hand tightly and said.
"You heard it earlier, didn't you? That sound."
"Huh? What sound?"
I looked at Noah and the kids, lost in a conversation I wasn't part of. Noah lightly ignored me and spoke to the frozen children.
"Besides, look there."
*Fwoosh!*
At the tip of Noah's finger, beyond the wide-open door, flames licked the air.
"The fire is real. If we stay here, we might all die. So stop fussing and follow me. You don't... want to die here, do you?"
I applauded inwardly, impressed.
'Wow... as expected of a character from the original work.'
The children followed Noah's words and headed outside, one by one. There was a fire, but it hadn't spread much yet, so escape seemed easy. Or rather, it looked like it would be.
"...Wait, where's that kid?"
Noah said, looking flustered.
"The one with the red hair who shared the same cell as me..."
"...!"
Before Noah could finish, I dove back into the burning building.
"Wait..! You—"
Noah's voice was swallowed by the roaring flames.
"Jess! Where are you, Jess!"
The house was already engulfed in flames. I covered my mouth with my sleeve and pushed through the fire. My feet were blistering and turning grotesque, but I didn't pay it much mind. It didn't hurt as much as I expected, and instinctively, I knew I'd be healed by tomorrow.
"Jess!"
"Hiiing..."
"..!"
I found the little beastkin girl, Jess, in the kitchen, where the flames were starting to spread. Jess had curled herself inside a drawer, hugging her tail, eyes brimming with tears.
"Haa... thank goodness."
"Ugh?"
Jess had food crumbs on her mouth, as if she'd eaten a ton while hiding. Seeing that, a laugh escaped me out of sheer relief.
I took off my shirt and soaked it in the clean water kept for cleaning. That wasn't enough, so I grabbed an apron that was starting to catch fire and soaked it too. I poured the remaining water on my head, then wrapped Jess up in the wet fabric.
Jess was malnourished and very small, so I could cover most of her body with the damp cloth. Jess looked up at me, eyes tearing up. Her ears and tail were trembling pitifully. I smiled as calmly as I could.
"We'll be out in a second, so close your eyes, okay?"
"Mm-hm..."
I turned around, Jess wrapped in the cloth. The dark red flames were already creeping into the kitchen.
'Being a slave really sucks at times like this.'
To prevent escape through windows, the kitchen had no windows, and the walls were built incredibly thick. The only way out was through the blazing entrance.
I muttered with a clumsy smile.
"At least... I hope my hair doesn't burn."
This cruel Gag World—it heals everything else, but... it doesn't protect your hair. It must be because that's funnier, *sniff*.
I made a vow to protect my eyebrows and hair, then ducked my head as low as possible and escaped the house.
*Thud!*
I heard the sound of house pillars falling and furniture collapsing behind me. Odile's house, which I usually complained about for being so cramped, felt too big today.
*Sizzle!*
I escaped the house, smelling my own burning flesh.
"Haa!"
I'd inhaled too much smoke; I could finally breathe once I got outside.
"Rian!"
"Brother!"
The children, who had been huddled together outside, ran toward me. I collapsed to my knees on the dirt floor and looked at Jess, whom I was holding in my arms.
"Haa..."
Jess blinked sleepily and looked up at me. Fortunately, she didn't seem to have any injuries. I immediately set Jess down carefully, then raised my hand to feel my hair.
It's there! It's there! Except for the ends being a little singed, it's fine!
"Thank goodness!"
"What do you mean 'thank goodness'! Are you crazy?!"
Noah made a tearful face looking at my skin, which was so red and cooked that it was peeling off. My feet were in particularly bad shape. The skin had burst, blood was streaming, and they were oozing fluid.
"Ah, this is fine. It'll heal soon."
"Hmm. That's a quite interesting story."
Before Noah could get angry, a charming voice came from behind. I turned my head to see Mia staring at my feet.
"To heal this quickly..."
Her eyes sparkled as she watched my feet knitting back together. It was healing slowly enough that a normal person wouldn't notice, but it seemed she could observe it perfectly.
"You said you had nowhere to go earlier, right? Then I'll take you with me."
"Oh, that's a good idea. But if you're taking him, don't kill him until he's an adult, okay?"
Rania, who had been standing with her hands clasped behind her head, grinned as if things had worked out well. At the request not to perform experiments serious enough to kill him, Mia grimaced slightly, then nodded as if she had no choice. Rania walked up to me, leaned down, and whispered in my ear.
"Consider the cookie you ate earlier paid for."
With that reply, she spun around and disappeared into the dark street. People who had been creeping out to see if they could scavenge anything from the burning house were terrified by Rania's appearance and fled.
"Well, shall we go now?"
Mia tugged on my arm, where the skin had peeled off from the burns. It was a touch devoid of any consideration, but... my attention was occupied elsewhere, not by the pain.
*Squeeze.*
"Haa!"
Soft... and, well, a pouch of wisdom that couldn't be described in words pressed against my elbow.
'What a reward... thank you.'
Thinking that, I staggered to my feet.
"Um, if it's okay, could I take those kids with me too?"
"What?"
When I made the request, her expression crumpled. It was the look of, 'Why is the bug talking?' I waved my hands frantically and said.
"W-well, they're like my younger siblings. If they aren't there, I might get so depressed I'll just die."
"Does that have something to do with your body?"
I nodded vigorously at her suspicious question.
"Yes, yes! If my psychological state gets bad, my physical condition gets EX! TREME! LY! worse..."
"Hmm, well, if that's the case, I suppose I have no choice. Instead..."
She leaned down toward me. And against my burnt chest... Mia's large, magnificent breasts were pressed. At the same time, I caught the scent of her sweet breath. I stood there, frozen, staring blankly at her beautiful face.
'Our school's Madonna wouldn't even stand a chance.'
My stiffened face was reflected in Mia's glasses. Fortunately, I didn't have a slack-jawed expression.
"It's okay if the experiments get a little more intense, right?"
"Yes, yes."
Intense? What's intense? Ah, experiments? She said experiments? Intense experiments? The phrasing sounds good.