[Stream Title: Lightly Warming Up the Hands Before the Tournament (feat. The One Who Committed a Heinous Sin)]
“Guys, hi-yo….”
[-hi]
[-You’re here-yo? You’re getting beaten today-yo lol]
[-Hontō ni yada! Hontō ni yada! Hontō ni yada! Hontō ni yada! Hontō ni yada!]
(TL Note: Hontō ni yada is Japanese for “I really hate it!”)
[-My size is just about right to be hot! My size is just about right to be hot!]
[-lololol]
[-Gang-ha, Gang-ha]
[-What’s with the chat? Did someone fake their chest or something lol?]
[-Wakan’nai yo! Wakan’nai yo! Wakan’nai yo!]
(TL Note: Wakan’nai yo is Japanese for “I don’t know!”)
[-We greet the GOAT in the history of flat chests…]
As expected, the chat is a complete mess as soon as I start the stream.
Moreover, some of the chats are clearly from viewers who saw the Japanese dub version of the featured post and are spamming my lines verbatim.
F*ck, did you all come from lurking on the gallery?
How could you!
Do you guys really like seeing me get roasted like that so much!?
W-well… I did lurk for 2 hours before the stream, but!
You guys are my simps!
You shouldn’t be doing that!
I thought you had all completely fallen for me and become simps recently, but I guess that was just my own delusion.
But it’s okay.
I expected it wouldn’t be this easy from the start.
Rather, now.
This might be a chance to redouble my efforts and create my own hypnotized simps who will truly follow my commands.
The kind that gives me money when I say ‘money,’ and immediately brings me water when I say ‘water’… heheh.
Anyway.
Tomorrow is the day the 3v3 mode gets updated, and at the same time, the group draw for the event tournament I’m participating in will take place.
Since we might have scrims right after the group draw, I’ll need to warm up my hands by playing some solo queue today.
‘But….’
Looking at the chat, it’s a situation where I can’t possibly focus on the game.
There are so many chats related to my chest that I can’t even ban them all one by one.
It’s understandable, since the viewer count is currently 1,100.
With far more people than usual spamming, it’s completely out of control.
But I can’t just ignore the chat and only play the game.
That would probably just fuel the fire even more.
…Right, let’s just take the beating today too.
Let’s just enjoy it.
It’s a hundred, a thousand times better than having no viewers, than having no chats.
I bowed my head deeply.
“First, before we begin the broadcast, I’m sorry-yo… I won’t do it again-yo.”
[-Okay, okay, let’s do better]
[-Hontō ni?]
[-Whoever said ‘Hontō ni,’ get out, f*ck lol] (TL Note: “Hontō ni” is Japanese for “Really?” or “Truly?”, which the viewers are using to mock Kangnani’s previous weeb-like exclamations.)
[–_-]
[-I get it-yo… I get it-yo… I get it-yo…]
[-(Hurry up and coddle her, you simps)]
[ㅇㅇ has donated 1,000 won!]
[I don’t really feel your sincerity-yo]
“I’m really sincere-yo… Today, as a sign of my apology to the viewers who were disappointed by my lies, I will stream with this on my head-yo.”
[-???]
[-What are you doing now-yo?]
[-I’m already anxious lol]
[-I don’t know what it is, but I’m sorry… please stop-dao…]
I brought an A4 paper from my desk.
Then, I wrote ‘Fake Chest’ in large letters and attached it to my head with scotch tape.
I attached it near the side of my head.
Because the forehead area would obstruct my view when I play games.
“This is a mark of shame. It means that watashi is deeply reflecting-yo… I hope my feelings are conveyed-yo.” (TL Note: “Watashi” is a Japanese pronoun for “I,” which the protagonist uses to lean into her “weeb” or anime-character persona.)
[-lolol]
[-Hmm]
[-It’s a bit weak, but… I get it-yo]
[-Can you attach it below your navel, by any chance?]
[-It’s kind of funny the more I look at it lol]
[-I can’t feel it because it’s small-yo (no subject-yo)]
[-Everyone, let’s refrain from mean words like ‘there are no feelings to be conveyed’]
“Anyway, since the tournament is tomorrow, I’ll go for a serious, hardcore game after a long time.”
[-Go go go]
[-It’s been so long since we had League, let’s go~]
[-For real… I’m hontō ni looking forward to it-yo]
[-Legendary madman, go go]
[-Ugh, you League-addicted guys, f*ck]
[-Please do Just Chatting for 1123232 more hours-dao…]
Ching!
Not long after I started matchmaking, a queue popped.
Next, I entered the champion select screen, and my turn was 5th pick.
In other words, a very advantageous turn where I could see the enemy’s picks and choose my champion.
But I,
“A b*tch who faked her chest doesn’t deserve to get the last pick-yo….”
I said, and immediately requested a swap with the 1st pick and insta-locked Irelia as first pick.
It was a first.
Me, who always got the last pick even though I was going to play Irelia anyway.
Me, who would immediately lock in Nunu & Willump and take Ghost and Teleport if I didn’t get last pick.
This was really the first time I had willingly gone first pick.
[-Kyaa]
[-What the lol?]
[-Dae-nani! Dae-nani! Dae-nani! Dae-nani!]
[-I’m so f*cking surprised, I fell backwards in my chair]
[-I’ve really never seen her go first pick]
[-You’ve finally realized your place]
[-Kyaaaaaa]
[-Nani-ya, what are you doing, tarnishing the pride of a top laner? F*ck]
[-Where did the GOAT of top laner’s human rights activism go, and why is there a female here lol]
[-So f*cking disappointing, unfollowing, cya]
“Everyone, calm down-yo… this is right-yo.”
I looked at the cam with a sad expression and calmed the chat.
But behind that sad expression, there was another me, desperately trying to stop the corners of my mouth from rising.
Heh.
Heheh!
Heheheheheheh!
You’re all so naive.
If you thought I would keep going first pick like a female who has succumbed to the team, you’re gravely mistaken.
‘In fact, I’ll probably go right back to getting the last pick in about a week.’
Uheheheheheh.
[ㅇㅇ has donated 1,000 won!]
[Top is a really f*cked up lane. For ADCs and supports, swapping pick order is a daily routine, but just because she went first pick once, the chat is going ‘kyaa’, this is f*cked up lol]
[-Spoon-laners and tool-laners’ joint surprise protest lolol]
[-Yep, cringe, so what, you do it lol]
[-So what, if you don’t like it, go top lol]
[-Hah… you f*ck, do you know top?]
[-These top-laner b*stards are f*cked up from their mindset lol]
[-For real, befitting a lane that loses by showing their rock-paper-scissors late]
Suddenly, the usual position blame game started.
I should stop this.
I placed a hand on my meager chest and appealed to the viewers.
“Stop it-yo! I can’t just stand by and watch a blame game start because of me-yo!”
[-What?]
[-????]
[-What’s with the b*tch who has ^Hatred Towards a Specific Position^ written on her wiki lolol]
[-?]
[-This b*tch’s attitude change is disgusting lol]
[-Don’t suddenly pretend to be nice-yo]
[-It’s a bit much seeing the GOAT of division do this]
[-???: You shouldn’t treat tools as people]
At my words, the viewers, who had been fighting amongst themselves until just a moment ago, spammed question marks and attacked me in unison.
Hmph.
Success.
By creating a common enemy, I stopped the viewers from fighting and directed the arrows of blame towards myself.
With this, the world where only I get hurt is complete.
This is the Dark Knight of this era.
Mmm, mmm.
[ㅇㅇ has donated 1,000 won!]
[But why are there so many big-chested female champions? Is it just me who’s uncomfortable with this?]
[-Huk]
[-Huk]
[-lolol]
[-Oh my god, sweetie… me too ㅠㅠㅠ]
[-Something something, anime, manga, novels, they all just shove in huge-chested girls~]
[-I really hate it lol]
[-What’s so good about a lump of fat~]
[-lololol]
[-Upvote if Gangnani is un?comfortable lol]
“…….”
[-Uh oh, what’s with her expression?]
[–_-]
[-Where’s the b*tch who said she was atoning just now?]
[-Provoked lolol]
“W-what are you talking about-yo? Isn’t it good if there are many big-chested girls-yo? I like big chests-yo! I daisuki-yo!”
(TL Note: Daisuki is Japanese for ‘I love it.’)
Grit.
My expression almost cracked for a moment.
I have to endure it.
I have to live like this for at least a few months, so what am I going to do if I can’t even manage my expression!?
‘Ugh….’
A wave of regret washes over me.
I… how thoughtlessly did I run my mouth?
Every single statement I made yesterday was coming back to me as a dagger.
It hurts.
It really f*cking hurts.
My chest hurts from embarrassment.
…Anyway.
The game began.
The enemy top was Malphite.
The start was quite standard.
We mostly just farmed until we both hit level 6.
The moment we both went back to base, the enemy Malphite briefly disappeared from sight.
‘…Did he roam?’
Just as I was about to urgently ping that Malphite was missing to our mid lane.
Thud!
Along with the rock-man’s body slam, our team’s mid laner died without being able to do anything.
And our team’s mid laner spamming the ‘survived’ ping on me was a bonus.
[-?]
[-What are you doing, aren’t you going to ping missing?]
[-Sigh, of course lol, sigh, of course lol, sigh, of course lol]
[-That’s wakan’nai yo!]
[-Whoever said ‘wakan’nai ping,’ get out lol]
[-Wakan’nai ping, f*ck lol]
[-lolol]
“Nooo! This can’t be helped… no, that’s not it! Yep! It’s my fault-yo! It’s my fault for not pinging w-wakan’nai-yo….”
My original personality was about to come out, but I quickly changed my words.
‘Hah… sh*t.’
Just a moment ago, I had strengthened my resolve, saying, ‘I have to endure it,’ but now that I’ve started playing League, it’s not easy to manage my expression.
I really am a true League-addicted man.
No, a League-addicted woman….
“Ah, the lane… is a bit bad. Ha. Ha. Ha!”
This time, a death lane where I would die if I didn’t push was formed.
To not lose out here, I have to push the lane quickly and go back to base… but at a very opportune moment, the enemy jungler came.
I tried all sorts of bullsh*t, dashing through minions with Q to try and survive, but it was not enough.
In other words, I died.
The most f*cked up situation for a top laner, according to Forbes.
And one of the situations I hate the most.
“Ah… sh*t. R-really!!”
[-Uh oh]
[-lolol]
[-Hontō ni yada! lolol]
[-Her mask shatters right away lol]
[-Right, right, you lasted a long time]
[-Who told you to manage the lane like that? lol]
[-This is it lol, this is it lol, this is it lol]
“Hyat! N-no… that’s not it-yo….”
[-Then what? lol]
[-Really, what then lol]
“…….”
I was at a loss for words at the viewer’s question of what then.
Of course, I was at a loss for words.
Because I was about to say, ‘F*ck.’
A heinous word that clearly violates today’s pledge.
‘Ugh…!’
A vein pops on my forehead.
Seriously, what did I do yesterday?
Because of that, I can’t even ban annoying chats as I please, and now I have to forcibly suppress my temper.
I really have to endure my temper for just today…!
Hah… really.
“R-really… hontō ni kimochi….”
(TL Note: Kimochi is Japanese for ‘feels good.’)
It feels good.
…Yep.
The next day.
[ㅇㅇ has donated 1,000 won!]
[Nani-ya, don’t really worry. I’ve already written all the long-winded donation messages to send to the two who get on the same team as you. You’re set, kid lol]
[-lolol]
[-For real, just trust the Gang-boongies]
[-Nani-ya, I’ve also prepared a clip of your drinking stream]
[-I wonder who’s going to be on the same team as this b*tch? lol]
[-Please just don’t act embarrassing-dao…]
[-Let’s go lol]
[-Don’t worry-yo, I’ll keep watching your stream even if you hit the gutter-yo]
[-You’re cute when you’re nervous-yo lol]
“W-what do you mean, nervous! I’m not nervous at all!?”
A dizzying mess of donations and chats.
“Aah… well then, dear viewers! We will now begin the group draw broadcaaaaaast! I will!”
The commentators and casters announcing the start of the tournament with high tension.
That’s right.
The group draw for the League of Legends 3v3 tournament with a total prize pool of 300 million won had begun.