"To maintain balance in three dimensions, you need at least three legs. Humans are considered higher animals because they walk upright, constantly maintaining balance on those unstable two legs. But that doesn't mean that state is actually stable. People still fall down occasionally even with two legs, so with just one foot like me, it's natural that I might fall like this. It's just how it is. So please don't worry so much."
What's the big deal about falling with a thud? Celesti was making such a fuss about it.
To calm her down, I needed to give a composed and somewhat lengthy explanation.
People usually get tired of these kinds of explanations anyway.
Yet Celesti wouldn't stop examining my body from all angles.
"How can I not worry? The crash was so loud it could be heard outside! Are you sure you didn't break any bones? Can you move like this, like this?"
Celesti demonstrated by moving her own limbs in ridiculous poses.
I found it curious how carefully she avoided touching me, not even with a fingertip, despite us both being women.
Is it really necessary to be that cautious between women?
Of course, for someone like me who becomes stiff, trembles, and shrinks when people get close, this distance was actually appropriate.
Ah, perhaps she's keeping her distance because viewers are watching.
Even though everyone knows Celesti is a woman.
Since Celesti herself insists she's a man, maybe she's being careful in a world where men can't casually touch women.
It could lead to more than just teasing.
Well, since Celesti isn't actually a man, viewers would probably just tease her about it.
So I moved my body appropriately to show I was fine.
It was too embarrassing to follow Celesti's exaggerated movements, so I just wiggled a bit from hands to toes.
Even with that, Celesti's arched eyebrows wouldn't relax, so I changed the subject.
"I'm fine, really. Anyway, even if I do better in top lane, you're in a higher tier than me, so it makes sense that you're better."
Back to what I was saying earlier.
It was the kind of talk any gamer would find appealing.
No one in the world would dislike being told they're good at something.
Celesti's eyebrows, which had been arched with concern, lowered as I intended.
Instead, she challenged me as if something I said bothered her.
"Wait a minute. Better just because of higher rating? That somehow hurts my pride! What about other metrics?"
"Well, you did lose to me in top lane... But that's because your original position is ADC. And I counter-picked with Teemo after seeing your Vayne."
"Hmm... Is this supposed to be comforting? Why doesn't it feel good?"
What I said was objective, at least from my perspective.
Honestly, the Vayne play Celesti showed me relied on hoping for opponent mistakes.
With her sustain-focused build, she could have minimized losses by playing defensively.
Instead, she got greedy, stepped forward, and died, maximizing her losses.
Understanding and applying that knowledge in real games is what constitutes skill.
But for an ADC player who just follows standardized item builds each patch and focuses on dealing damage from a safe position with teammates setting up kills, mastering such nuances isn't necessary.
The most variation they need is defensive items when facing assassins or crowd control cleansing items against heavy CC teams.
In that respect, I could confidently say I had an advantage over Celesti.
Before becoming a woman, I just played casually with friends.
But as I played more, I naturally delved deeper and gained more knowledge.
Top lane especially demands this kind of understanding.
Winning lane becomes the foundation for the rest of the game, so you focus intensely on the laning phase.
You need to know at which levels you have advantages, how to optimize item builds for lane dominance, and other such details.
Of course, I didn't mention any of this to Celesti.
She was streaming, and her viewers would naturally take her side.
While many viewers might tease Celesti, there's that unspoken rule of "only we can tease our own."
Like how Black people can use certain terms among themselves that would be unacceptable from other races.
I thought I'd smoothed things over well, but Celesti stubbornly issued me a challenge.
"Well, Noel, you'll have to show me the basis for that judgment! I disagree!"
"What? I'm saying you're better at League of Champions than me."
"I don't listen to people in lower tiers than me! Prove it by streaming!"
She must know her argument is fallacious.
I said she's better at the game, but she won't accept the opinion of someone who's worse at the game than her.
It's like saying "this statement is false."
But when she mentioned proving it through streaming, I realized this was bait for what she really wanted to discuss.
She was looking for any excuse.
Just to get me to stream.
If that was the case, I could accept her flimsy argument.
I was secretly pleased to have my gaming skills acknowledged.
Even knowing the purpose of the stream was just to confirm I was still alive.
It felt like finding something I'd done that wasn't entirely meaningless.
In truth, I know it's meaningless.
I might be good for an average person, but I could never become a pro gamer with this level of skill.
If it can't become a profession, can a mere hobby really have meaning?
Still, someone was validating my gameplay.
...It's bitter to build self-esteem on others' evaluations.
But since I have nothing else left, even this is welcome.
All my hard work studying from elementary through high school has become meaningless.
I can't go back to university with this body.
Ah, from birth until now, I've just lived to be a trophy for my father and mother.
After having all that denied, this game is the only thing I've chosen for myself.
And now it's being validated.
"Yes, well... but how do we do this?"
"Really? You'll actually do it?"
"I don't watch internet streams, but I know League of Champions isn't that demanding. It should run alongside streaming software."
I nodded again to Celesti, who was staring at me with wide eyes.
Do Celesti and her viewers realize?
That it's not me doing them a favor by streaming, but them giving me an opportunity.
"Oh, um. Then can I come into your room? I'll install all the streaming programs on your computer... Ah, you'll need a microphone too. I'll get you a decent one with good value. A camera? No way, everyone. Even if she's making her streaming debut, Noel is a private citizen. That's why I've been careful not to show her face in my streams."
Celesti chatted animatedly with her viewers while installing various programs on my computer.
There weren't many programs, and installation didn't take long.
But it took some time for Celesti to adjust the settings.
More than anything, I was relieved that a camera wasn't necessary.
People who came to watch my gameplay would probably leave in disgust if they saw my face.
Since Celesti also streamed without showing her face, I should be able to do the same.
Even now, she's pretending it's not her real face under the guise of crossdressing.
But that's Celesti's business.
I gave her my chair and curled up on the bed, absently watching her.
Seeing her back as she worked hard to help me, I started feeling increasingly guilty.
Whether viewers told her to or Celesti received donations for it.
Either way, they're helping me, and it felt uncomfortable to just sit there doing nothing.
Like with the couple downstairs, a relationship where help only flows one way can't be healthy.
Later, Celesti might use this as leverage to demand something from me, and I'd have to comply.
Even if it's something I don't want to do.
I hate being indebted. But I have nothing to give right now.
...Should I at least send her a gift card? As I was thinking this, I remembered the pizza in the refrigerator.
It might be a bit cold, but it hadn't even been a day since it was made.
Wouldn't it still taste good if reheated?
"Celesti. You must be tired from cleaning and everything. Would you like some pizza?"
"Pizza? Ah, that's right, you mentioned having pizza as spoils of war. You have leftovers?"
"Of course. It's hard to eat a whole pizza by myself in one sitting."
"True. Pizza is awkward that way. Too much for one person, but not quite enough for two. Three people sharing two pizzas is about right. What? Why is that too little for a man? Just because I'm a man doesn't mean I have to eat a lot! I can eat less too! Anyway, thank you, I'll gladly accept!"
Since I hadn't bought it with my own money, I didn't feel stingy about sharing it.
I just felt a little bad about offering leftovers.
But Celesti accepted even that happily.
However, when I tried to get up, Celesti hurriedly stopped me.
"No, please stay seated with your leg condition. I'll heat it up myself. Where did you put it?"
"In the refrigerator. Please take some cola too."
"Hehe, thank you. No, everyone, I'm not stealing her food! Noel is offering it to me. What? This is her food for four days? W-well, eating reheated pizza for four days straight would get boring! I'm just helping finish it before it goes bad. I'll send her a gift card later... That way Noel can enjoy freshly made food next time. It's win-win, right? Huh, what's this?"
She took her phone with the stream running to the kitchen, then suddenly fell silent.
There shouldn't be anything unusual in the refrigerator besides the pizza, so why was she acting strange?
Worried she might have seen something embarrassing, I crawled out of the room.
I found Celesti staring blankly at the open pizza box from the refrigerator.
Could the pizza have gone bad already?
That seemed impossible.
Even though the weather had gotten warmer, I'd put it straight in the refrigerator, so it couldn't have spoiled noticeably already.
Ah, could it be because of the pizza slice I'd taken just one bite from?
Just as I realized this and was about to tell her to eat a different slice,
Celesti asked me in a voice that had somehow become moist with emotion:
"Noel, did you really only eat one slice? Were you really planning to make this last four days?"
"Huh? Oh, yes. But one slice was enough to make me full. I originally planned to eat two slices a day, but I got too full and was a bit worried. Since it would spoil if I stretched it to eight days, I was planning to finish the rest of that slice once I got hungry again... Please heat up a fresh slice for yourself."
"..."
Celesti's face contorted.