"Are you planning on torturing me?"
In a tightly locked voice, he whispered softly. Though the words were like that, his voice was still kind.
"I'm not… just twenty years old."
"Yes, I know."
"Even though I'm much younger than you, I'm twenty-seven."
"Could I just switch the order and say it like this? Even if you're twenty-seven, you're still twelve years younger than me. And that's why I have a lot on my mind."
"I'm anxious."
"......"
His face showed a shocked expression at the word "anxious." No, maybe it was more like a frightened look.
As though he had heard something about an injury or pain, he cupped Choi Hong-seo's face in his hands, looking deeply and carefully at the face in his palms with surprised eyes.
"Why? What are you anxious about?"
"I don't know."
"I never really say things like… that I'm anxious. But when I'm with you, I feel like I'm changing."
Lee Hye-sung kept his gaze on Choi Hong-seo, who was trying to avoid looking at him, until their eyes met.
"Anything you're anxious about, struggling with, upset about. You can show it all to me, say it all. Did I make you anxious in any way?"
Choi Hong-seo grabbed his arm tightly, not to pull it away, but more like clinging to it.
He shook his head strongly.
"No. You haven't done anything wrong. It's just... I think this is my first time in this kind of relationship."
His thumb gently rubbed over Choi Hong-seo's cheekbone. The emotions that had once faltered between them began to calm slowly.
"Shall we lie down and sleep?"
Choi Hong-seo nodded at his suggestion.
They lay side by side on the super-single bed. He pulled Choi Hong-seo's shoulder to bring him closer to his chest. He kissed the top of his head several times, as if soothing a startled child.
"Are you still anxious, even though we're lying like this?"
"......"
Instead of answering, Choi Hong-seo kissed the nape of his neck. There was a familiar scent there. It wasn't the smell of shower gel or body lotion. It was the distinct scent of him, Lee Hye-sung. It was a fragrance that reminded him of nostalgic memories from childhood, a scent so comforting it almost filled his chest.
Choi Hong-seo rubbed his dry lips against his neck, like a child searching for a mother's milk. His hand, which had been resting on Lee Hye-sung's chest, unknowingly gripped his t-shirt tightly.
"Let's sleep now. You hate going to work after not sleeping much, right? You can't stay up late like this either, can you? Hmm?"
While stroking Choi Hong-seo's head, Lee Hye-sung gently comforted him.
"Do you not like it when I'm like this?"
A light sigh touched his forehead. Probably the sweetest sigh in the world.
"Do you think I wouldn't like it?"
"Hong-seo."
"......"
"Choi Hong-seo."
"......"
"Our Hong-seo is a good boy."
"Can't I not be good for just a moment?"
Choi Hong-seo mumbled, unable to look him in the eye, his gaze fixed on Lee Hye-sung's chest.
"I'm scared that someday… you'll feel like I used you."
"......"
This time, Choi Hong-seo was shocked. He suddenly turned over, kneeling on the bed.
"I'll never think that! Never!"
He grabbed the sheets tightly, as though desperately pleading with Lee Hye-sung to believe his sincerity.
Lee Hye-sung, who had been quietly watching him with lowered eyelids, sat up from the bed. He took Choi Hong-seo's hand, which was gripping the sheets, into his own.
"Proving my feelings doesn't have to be through something like this, but I want to show you that I cherish you before we sleep together."
He loosened the grip on Choi Hong-seo's hand that was clutching the sheet so tightly, intertwining his fingers with his. His touch was like a treatment, drawing out the old poisons that troubled the soul.
"Don't worry. I'm focused on you right now..."
"......"
"Do you know how I feel when I hear that you're anxious?" Choi Hong-seo, now on his knees, moved closer.
He cupped Lee Hye-sung's face with both hands, just as he always did. His face seemed to hurt so much that there was no time to hesitate or feel embarrassed.
"I'm sorry. I won't say it again."
To be holding the face of someone like him, a VVIP... It was something he could never have imagined before. No, just hours ago, he wouldn’t have thought he could ever do such a thing.
He was already learning from him, little by little—how to express, how to communicate, and how to love.
"Come here. I didn't say that because I want an apology. I said it because I was upset. Why are you apologizing?"
Opening his arms, he welcomed Choi Hong-seo back into his embrace. They lay down side by side, sharing the same pillow. His arms pulled him close again, and his lips pressed gently against Choi Hong-seo's hair.
"If you're anxious, I'll try harder."
"......"
"This will be a precious memory for us, so let's not turn it into a tool just to get rid of the anxiety, okay?"