Personal Goal: Entice Academy students to raise general awareness about illusion magic / Get them to join the Purple Tower / Make them buy lots of Purple Tower merchandise.

Job: Bulk up students using simulations.

Secret Mission: Root out dark mages within the Academy.

Important Duty: Regularly introduce female students to Pingalerez.

"...I don't remember writing that last line. Was that you, Pingalerez?"

"Yes, it was?"

I erased the last line about duties and whatnot.

===============================================================

All administrative procedures are tedious and arduous. There's something about them that makes both the processor and recipient writhe in agony. The Academy's professor enrollment procedure was no exception.

"So you're saying you invited him as a professor to teach countermeasures against illusion magic..."

"Shouldn't he be given broader authority? He was personally selected by the Prince."

"I believe it's inappropriate to entrust duties to an unverified individual without proper vetting. At the very least, after verifying his character and abilities—"

"Pingalerez, want to play word chain?"

"Certainly. Mithril."

Professors, administrative staff, the Academy's vice principal, student representatives, and others were all gathered, raising their voices about my treatment. I passed the time with Pingalerez in the midst of it all.

The root of all these problems lay with the 2nd Prince, who had abused his authority to place me in the Academy without properly sorting things out. If he was going to place me somewhere, he should have put me in a high position, not just sent me off without direction.

That wasn't all—he'd also left behind the insane instruction that "he can create realistic illusion magic, which can supplement the students' lack of practical experience."

The ironic part was that he himself believed it was dimension magic. A prince who mistook illusion magic for dimension magic, while I was disguising dimension magic as illusion magic.

And that's how this mess began.

A large-scale chaotic debate about what duties to assign to a magician who had suddenly appeared. And word chain with Pingalerez.

"Distorted Lament."

"Sword of Sighs."

"Is that really an existing artifact?"

"Is that really an existing spell?"

As our wholesome word chain game, where we questioned each other's expertise, entered its third round with a score of 1-1...

After bickering for an hour and thirty minutes, the Academy staff concluded they should first assess my abilities. A clerk with round glasses stood up, approached me, and asked:

"What's your rank?"

"3-Star."

"You haven't even achieved Ascension. Do you think you're qualified to teach students?"

"Are you dismissing the 2nd Prince's judgment?"

"...!! N-no, that's not it, I'm only trying to serve the Empire faithfully..."

The clerk rapidly lost his strength and shrank back. Having defeated the first challenger, the next contender—a greasy-looking magician—stepped forward to interrogate me.

"I'm Alejandro Menuba. A Silver-rank magician from the Gold Tower, and I teach 'Basic Elements Theory' and maintain the training grounds at the Academy. I don't mean to belittle you, but I have achieved Ascension."

He definitely meant to belittle me.

"Hmm."

"There are quite a few students who have reached the 3-Star realm. This is the Academy, a facility that forms the foundation of the Empire's power. Your skills might be sufficient outside, but they're considered inadequate for a professor position at the Academy. Wouldn't it be better for you to step down for the sake of the children's education?"

"Um, excuse me, who are you talking to, Mr. Alejandro...?!"

"What do you mean... huh?"

The Silver-rank had been muttering all sorts of concerns to an illusion-covered persimmon tree, only breaking free from the illusion magic when someone called him from the side. His face turned tomato-red with embarrassment, and he retreated while chewing on his handkerchief.

His mental barrier was fairly thick, but when I disguised the intrusion as information about women, it slipped right in. Just looking at his greasy face, I figured he'd be into women, and I was right.

Finally, a one-eyed Viking approached, carrying a large two-handed axe in one hand.

"Nice to meet you, shrimp! I'm Alexon, in charge of the 'Everything About Close Combat' course! Supplementing practical experience with illusion magic, sounds good. If you, shrimp, can create realistic combat scenarios!"

"Hmm."

"How could a shrimp with no apparent combat experience simulate real battles! Come here and face my axe! If you defeat me, I'll acknowledge you!"

"How about a verbal duel?"

I answered while quietly opening the large bag tucked under my arm. It contained various equipment for setting up a simulation room at the Academy. Among them were combat data I had diligently processed.

Long ago, when I was being beaten by a cleaning golem.

Since then, I had been inputting combat data into an AI and running infinite combat loops in accelerated time as much as my mana allowed. It wasn't perfect—there's no end to the path of martial arts.

But I could hold my own to some extent.

"Think you can win by fighting with words?"

"Let's see."

"Fine, I'll hold my axe and first take a diagonal step to the right—"

I input the one-eyed Viking's combat data and waited. The AI output the next move, and I verbalized it exactly. This process repeated.

Shortly after...

"Sob sob..."

The one-eyed Viking was hugging his axe and crying bitterly. Despite twisting his body forcefully three times, he had been completely defeated in verbal combat. The one-eyed warrior, defeated by a magician in a battle of words, later reflected:

That there was no emotion in the magician's swordsmanship.

It was the swordsmanship of a completely deranged killer who only thought about how to efficiently kill people while excluding all emotions.

===============================================================

If we had fought seriously one-on-one, I was confident I would lose. The Academy's professors were walking human weapons who made killing their profession. Even a graze from something like the Silver-rank's "Earth Awl" would cause serious injury.

But if they gave me a little preparation time and the first move, it would be a piece of cake.

Thanks to their complacency about someone who hadn't achieved Ascension, I was able to breeze through the skill demonstration. I gained the recognition of the faculty and proudly became a professor in my field.

After handling administrative procedures, being assigned professor's quarters and a personal room, and taking care of various tasks, time flew by quickly. Now I just needed to wait for the school opening date, which was a week away, and prepare for the lectures I had been putting off until the end.

Thanks to the (forced) explanation from the 2nd Prince, I became thoroughly familiar with the Academy's structure. Courses were divided into required and elective; required courses had to be taken without exception, while electives could be chosen freely as schedule allowed.

The difference from modern university courses was that grades weren't important for graduation. You could graduate from the Academy even with straight Fs. People just didn't do it because it would be embarrassing.

I had to teach "Countering Illusion Magic" as a required course,

And for electives, I was told I could teach whatever I wanted.

I heard that some professors taught courses like "How to Tear a Wyvern Apart with Bare Hands" so that no one would sign up. I don't know if they wanted to slack off or if they genuinely wanted to teach but were ignored by students.

"What should I teach..."

"Are you wondering what to teach so students won't sign up?"

"No, I don't plan to slack off. Since it's come to this, it would be nice if we could help each other. I'm actually worried because there's so much I want to share with this harsh medieval academy."

"Like what?"

"'How to Pretend to be a Cool Medieval Knight,' 'Eleven Ways to Steal a Man's Heart,' things like that."

"...?"

Pingalerez's expressionless face subtly changed. Then at some point, as if her mad magician killing mode had activated, she immediately stepped on the gas.

"Do you like men? Somehow, I knew it."

"No. Watch your words, Lez."

"Then what's this 'Eleven Ways to Steal a Man's Heart'? Explain yourself."

"Theoretically, men understand men's hearts best. So they'd know best how to steal them."

I was confident. In this place where clichés weren't prevalent, each flirtation was lethal. Hadn't I conquered numerous men, including the Northern Grand Duke, and incidentally the 2nd Prince as well?

Though I said it jokingly, I was certain it would be effective if taught. The thought of noble young ladies running with toast in their mouths made my heart flutter already.

"Crazy gay magician. You should at least pretend to be concerned about rooting out dark mages."

"Pingalerezlez, I have plans for that part."

A big event to breathe dreams and hope into the bleak Academy life. With a slight variation, I could kill two birds with one stone.

"Why do dark mages become dark mages?"

"They might have experienced tragedy in the past, crave power, or be hostile to the Goddess Cult. Usually something like that."

"Right, ultimately they chose to become dark mages because they lacked power to achieve something. Look at this."

I took out a magically treated longsword and handed it to Pingalerez. She took it and began examining it.

"I'd pay about fifteen silver coins for this."

"Huh? I bought it for one gold coin..."

"Idiot."

"...Awaken, cursed sword!"

When I uttered the activation phrase, the gem embedded in the bridge of the longsword split open, revealing an eyeball. The eyeball moved erratically, then narrowed its pupil as it looked at Pingalerez.

-Are you my new master? To awaken me, that audacity deserves praise—

"Hup!"

Clang-!

Pingalerez's fist shot out. A powerful punch that perfectly channeled her entire body weight in a circular motion split the longsword in half. The cursed sword... died.

Pingalerez loaded her next punch and glared at me.

"What is this?"

I started explaining before that fist could be directed at me. I was sad about my one-gold-coin sword being split in half, but keeping my neck attached was the priority.

"It's an illusion, just an illusion. A toy sword made with illusion magic."

"Indeed, I didn't sense any malevolent energy."

"I'm going to release fake cursed swords like this to catch dark mages. I'll become a fisherman who catches people."

"Can you really fool anyone with a sword that has no real functions?"

"You don't understand, the important thing is storytelling..."

Yes, storytelling was key. If you create a cool situation that people want to believe in, even a toy sword can become a real cursed sword with sealed tremendous power. I would scatter these all over the Academy along with various hidden pieces.

If it ended up in the hands of someone who didn't seem like a dark mage, the sword would be purified, saying something like 'I'm moved by your pure heart, so I choose death for myself.'

I crossed my legs and held out my hand. Pingalerez stared blankly and said:

"What?"

"You should ask. Two gold coins."

"I told you it's worth fifteen silver coins."

"Yeah, apart from me being scammed. I'm just counting the cost of reagents and materials for making it."

"......"

Pingalerez averted her gaze. What's this? Isn't two gold coins an amount you could dig up from the ground? It's pocket change compared to the funding the Magic Tower receives.

"The Tower receives a lot... sigh, the Defense Department is a bit underpaid."

"Then you're in debt? Get down."

"Yes."

Pingalerez immediately prostrated herself. I sat on her firm back and crossed my legs. I lightly held her ponytail as a handle. This was how we'd been playing lately. Because we were bored.

I especially did this because I missed seeing the Tower Master's face. Was she eating well? Was she bathing properly? Was she still energetically low-kicking her Magic Tower friends' spells? Did she think of me occasionally?

While I was carefully drawing the Tower Master's face in the sky beyond the window with a wistful gaze, the door to my personal room burst open.

A familiar red hair swayed.

"I'm Selvia, a new student. I heard there was someone from the Tower, so I came to say hello... Oh my goodness?!"

"Oh, nice to—"

"W-why are you two here, no, it seems urgent, I-I'll come back later!"

The Red Tower magician slammed the door shut and left.

After a moment of silence, I carefully muttered:

"...It seems an unpleasant misunderstanding has occurred?"

"Yes, young master."

"Sigh..."

It was spring.