Yes, I'd thought something like this would happen eventually.
Unless I lived in complete isolation, someone was bound to make the connection between who I was before and who I am now.
It makes sense they'd have questions.
I use the same name.
I live in the same place.
Only one digit of my resident registration number changed, but all my accounts stayed the same.
From my phone number to my internet accounts, I'm using all the same ones.
I suppose it's fortunate my social circle wasn't very wide.
I got along well enough with friends, but through high school, I was just the boring kid who only studied.
Even in League of Champions, I wonder if anyone on my friends list actually remembers me.
That's probably why my father and mother kept me from going outside.
Afraid someone might dig up those embarrassing details.
Mother said I could just take a year off and then return to school, but well...
That ended up being impossible anyway.
So I was prepared to slowly die in my room.
The world wouldn't accept me anyway.
At least lately, thanks to gaming and internet streaming, I've been enjoying myself.
Even though viewers cheer me on now, it would be hard to make this a real career.
I had locked myself behind bars, secured with padlocks.
And then Gabi came and broke through them all.
That made me happy.
Knowing she was concerned enough to confront me like this.
It also made me sad.
Because that concern was directed at who I was as a man.
So what should I...
How should I explain everything to Gabi?
"What's got you looking so troubled?"
While I was lost in these thoughts,
I heard the neighbor woman's voice from behind me.
I must have been so preoccupied that I didn't even hear the front door open.
"Well... I need to explain to my friend how much I've changed. But it's hard to believe, and it might be quite shocking. I'm afraid they might never want to see me again."
I gave her a vague explanation.
"Hmm. True, it's not every day a man becomes a woman."
Somehow, the neighbor woman already knew I used to be male.
I stared at her blankly, not even able to ask how she knew.
Still finding it difficult to make eye contact, I only half-turned my head.
Perhaps that was enough for her to understand.
The woman added with an amused voice:
"You're wondering how I knew? Well, I knew that a mom, dad, and son lived at Noel's place. Even in today's world where people don't pay much attention to their neighbors, big sis remembers that much."
"...And you're not bothered by it?"
"Hmm? Whether you're a man or woman, Noel is Noel. Though I do think your current appearance is cuter. Hehe. You smell sweet too."
I see.
Like this woman, maybe gender doesn't have to matter.
"Do you think if I'm honest with Gabi, she'll accept me as I am now?"
"Hmm. I doubt it would be easy."
"I figured as much..."
The neighbor woman didn't offer me comforting lies.
That's reality.
There's no reason Gabi would react like my neighbor.
Hearing that, I sighed dejectedly.
The neighbor woman came beside me and whispered gently:
"A lie might help you escape the situation temporarily. You could claim to be Noel's cousin, which might temporarily quell Gabi's suspicions."
It was such a sweet whisper that I was tempted to actually do it.
Surprise! This was all a hidden camera prank.
Noel is traveling abroad, and I'm just his cousin using his game ID and phone for a while.
That's the kind of scenario she was suggesting.
"But lies are like snowballs. You need bigger lies to cover them up, and eventually, things spiral out of control. A deception that's bound to be discovered will only leave Gabi feeling betrayed."
Just as I was about to be seduced by the idea, she brought me back to reality.
So I really had only two choices.
One was to offer no explanation and part ways with Gabi forever.
The other was to be honest and let Gabi decide.
In reality, the latter might also result in losing Gabi forever.
Who would easily believe that the person using their friend's phone number and ID was actually that friend who had become a woman?
But if I was going to lose Gabi anyway,
Wouldn't it be better to at least try something?
With luck, Gabi might believe me.
Maybe this is how ChallengerAscentInProgress felt a few days ago.
Whether we reached an agreement or not, he'd get scolded by his parents either way.
But with an agreement, the scolding might be less severe.
Just like how ChallengerAscentInProgress immediately confessed in front of his parents,
I thought it might be better to tell Gabi the truth.
"Thank you, big sis."
"Hehe, don't mention it."
So I immediately started sending Cocoa Talk messages to Gabi.
- Noel: This will be hard to believe
- Noel: You can dismiss it as crazy talk if you want
- Noel: I am the Yoon Noel you knew
- Noel: There's a reason my appearance changed
- GabiPrincess: What is this, a prank? Are you his cousin? Or did you buy his account?
- GabiPrincess: Is Noel next to you setting up this prank?
- GabiPrincess: Tell Noel it's not funny
Naturally, Gabi didn't seem to believe me easily.
Of course, that was to be expected.
I desperately wanted to go along with Gabi's assumption and say it was just a prank.
But I didn't want to invalidate all those years we shared.
So I made my move.
I'm a top lane maniac after all.
When you know you'll lose either way, you have to throw your whole body into doing something.
- Noel: It's a long story
- Noel: Want to come to my place and talk?
- Noel: It might have been awkward inviting you to a guy's place... but I'm a girl now
Gabi didn't respond for a long time.
During that silence, our queue with Gabi and her two friends found a match.
Having to play a game in this situation felt maddening,
but I habitually accepted, and the game started without anyone objecting.
That meant Gabi had accepted the game too.
Maybe she felt awkward in front of her friends, or maybe she needed time to process what I'd said.
Either way, it meant delaying the moment I'd get her answer.
I licked my dry lips while staring at the loading screen.
Then I belatedly noticed the viewer chat:
- TearingApart: Noel's talking to herself again, big sis must be here
- TearingApart: But it can't be easy talking to a friend who contacted you after so long...
- LexiaQueen: For real, it's not like you just dyed your hair or lost weight, you became a shut-in, how do you explain that...
- NoelsWheelchairThief: Well you did lose weight, about the weight of one leg
- Starfall: You're such an asshole
- SoSleepy: Boooo trash boooo
The joke was so ridiculous that despite my serious mood, I burst out laughing.
Right, the die has been cast.
All I can do now is wait for Gabi to make her decision.
Just like I know I'll die someday but decided to enjoy my remaining life,
Once something's out of my hands, there's no point in stressing over it.
Fortunately, it seemed the neighbor woman's voice hadn't been picked up by the viewers.
If it had, there would have been a huge commotion about me originally being a man.
"Sorry everyone, I wasn't paying attention for a while. I was asking my neighbor for advice on how to talk to a friend I haven't seen in a long time."
- TearingApart: Yeah understandable
- TearingApart: But does Noel play ADC too?
- LexiaQueen: Will she be better than Celesti?
- SoSleepy: Noel's a top lane main so there's no comparison lol
- LexiaQueen: But ADC is just about mechanics right?
- LexiaQueen: Even though Celesti's reactions are pro-level, Noel's reaction speed is honestly inhuman
- SoSleepy: ADC requires brains too...
- SoSleepy: Well Noel does seem to track skills even when playing top
- SoSleepy: But you have to maintain distance from enemies while also staying close enough to teammates for protection, adjusting positioning by the second
- SoSleepy: Plus Celesti has a higher rank, she just hit Grandmaster
- TearingApart: Ah can't tease her about being hardstuck Diamond anymore
After neglecting them briefly, I needed to focus on my viewers for a while.
I should concentrate on the game.
It's absolutely not because my pride was hurt when they said I couldn't be better than Celesti.
I already admitted Celesti was better than me anyway.
I'm already troubled enough without worrying about something so childish.
...Anyway, that's that.