The emotion that had been simmering in the depths of my heart finally surfaced and found a name.

That's how emotions always are.

Sudden and shocking.

Just as Rubyca was to Mari, the protagonist had everything I didn't.

Starting with physical build.

Social status. Knowledge of the original story.

And even the masculinity I had lost.

Had I been living vicariously through watching the protagonist live as a modern man in this other world?

When I asked myself, it seemed that way.

Perhaps I had been admiring the protagonist all along.

After all, he was my savior.

Though his methods were a bit extreme, I was saved thanks to him. When I think about it, admiring the protagonist isn't really strange at all.

As my thoughts continued to chain together, I eventually reached the difficult question I'd been trying to ignore.

*Who am I?*

The Squirrel Beastfolk mage Hazel?

Or...

I don't know.

I'm not a Transmigrator.

Not someone who's returned from the future either.

*Am I reincarnated?*

I don't know.

I can't be certain because I have no memories of this body, of Hazel.

*Then am I possessing someone?*

I'm not sure about that either.

My memories of Earth are too vague to make a definitive judgment.

Wasn't there a saying that a demon's heart is the anchor of the soul?

Could there be a more fitting expression?

I had no anchor for my soul.

Past life? Present life?

Unable to firmly choose either one, I was merely adrift in the vast ocean called Edensia.

The only reason I hadn't succumbed to the overwhelming emptiness was because I had the protagonist as my lifeboat.

*I am...*

Just who am I?

"Hazel?"

Meredith's concerned voice reached me. Snapping back to reality, I realized both of them were staring at me.

My hand, which had been placed on top of Meredith's, had somehow flipped to face the opposite direction. I hadn't even noticed our hands turning over. No wonder they were worried.

I blinked a few times and continued the conversation as if nothing had happened.

"Is it Mari's wish that Rubyca only competes at the Filario Arena?"

"Yes, I was being stubborn. I always feel sorry toward my father. Whether people like Rubyca or not, nobody likes that she only participates in beast fights. It just made the Gladiator Troupe look bad."

"But for a great warrior... wouldn't it make more sense to send her to more prestigious arenas?"

Meredith nodded in agreement. Apparently, this was something he had been wondering about too.

Mari closed her eyes and gently rubbed her cheek. She seemed to be carefully choosing her words, or perhaps she was feeling shy.

"I wasn't looking for great fame. Not losing—that was more important to me than winning and building a reputation."

Her cheeks flushed as she rubbed them.

"I... I couldn't accept Rubyca losing even once. Childish thinking, isn't it?"

A brief silence followed.

Listening to Mari's story made me feel like someone was stripping me naked and staring intently at me.

The emotions she harbored were similar to those in my own heart.

Every time she bared her soul, I had to face my own nameless, wandering feelings.

It was terribly embarrassing.

"Is there an unfulfilled promise between you two? I'll help you fulfill it if I can."

"How kind of you."

Mari smiled slightly.

"I appreciate the thought. But there are no promises left. I've been selfish enough. Rubyca wanted to fight stronger opponents, and my father wanted that too, but I insisted—*cough*."

Her voice grew rough and dry again, as if she'd spoken too much.

"So it's alright. It's time for me to let Rubyca go."

"Then, if you were to recover, is there anything you'd want to do?" Meredith asked.

Had he developed sympathy for Mari?

His eyes shone with determination.

If it was a wish within his power, he would surely grant it.

"Well..."

Mari rubbed her cheek and fell into deep thought, as if she'd never considered such a possibility.

"If that day ever comes... I'd like to run until I'm out of breath."

It was such a modest wish.

Yet it was one we couldn't fulfill.

◆

We moved to a nearby restaurant and shared information while having light snacks.

"That's a sad story."

The protagonist seemed to feel sympathy.

"Hmm..."

Onyxia wore a puzzled expression. The fact that she didn't blurt out something inappropriate meant she must have found the story somewhat moving.

"Is it our turn now?"

The protagonist said, opening the discussion.

"Ms. Verona, the troupe leader, has given us a request. The reward is Rubyca. We can take her without paying a single coin."

"...That's quite a reward?"

Meredith's reaction showed he found it suspicious.

After all, there's no such thing as easy money in this world.

Those are all scams.

"Let's huddle up."

At those words, we all gathered close, shoulders touching.

I put my knees up on the chair to match everyone's height.

Seeing this, Onyxia laughed heartily. Meredith also gently patted my head, pressing down on my crown.

The protagonist watched us with a smile, then cleared his throat to bring us back to attention.

"There's an island trapped in a storm nearby with a dungeon where a drake lives. Just as they finished their investigation and were about to begin proper exploration, a storm hit."

"So..."

"She wants us to get the drake's horn. That's Ms. Verona's request."

Meredith put his hand to his head. With his other hand, he tapped the table. Tap, tap. The sound was rhythmic.

"What do you think? Is this something we can handle?"

"Our frontline is too weak to face a drake."

"She said we could take Rubyca if we accept the request."

Meredith groaned.

He clearly didn't like the proposal.

"You said it's an island trapped in a storm, do you know why?"

"Spirits are blocking access to the island. I don't know the exact reason why."

"Spirits... Then it's over. There's no way, absolutely no way."

Meredith swept his hair back and tore off a piece of bread from the plate, putting it in his mouth.

"I thought a mage might have some solution... I thought we could pay off our debt in one go, but it's impossible, completely impossible."

Onyxia also seemed to lose interest, dumping a handful of dried fruit into her mouth and gulping down fruit wine. Her obsession with debt was refreshing, probably due to her past.

But only one person—the protagonist—kept his eyes on me.

"So, what do you think?"

"I already answered. There's no way, I said."

"I'm asking our mage."

The protagonist's expression was gentle, but his voice was firm.

Meredith was startled by that response and straightened his posture. Various emotions crossed his face.

Bitterness, regret, embarrassment, disappointment.

"I'm sorry... Hazel."

Meredith apologized in a dejected voice.

I understood both the protagonist's statement and Meredith's reaction.

A mage is the brain of the party.

While the party leader makes the final decisions, it's the mage's responsibility to assess situations and derive the best solutions.

And strictly speaking, Meredith was a guest mage. He could offer suggestions, but making conclusions and determining the party's course of action on his own was overstepping.

That was the strict interpretation, but in our party, various complicated circumstances meant this rule was often glossed over.

Everyone was already friends with each other.

Meredith was my mentor.

I was too young and inexperienced.

Meredith was more knowledgeable.

There were many issues with applying the rules that other parties followed.

*But the protagonist brought up the rule.*

If he wasn't trying to put Meredith in his place, then he must be trying to give weight to my opinion.

That meant... he believed I could somehow solve this challenge.

Since the island was controlled by spirits, perhaps using a sorcerer's power could allow us to enter.

*But... how?*

The protagonist seemed to have no doubt that I was a sorcerer. Otherwise, there would be no reason for him to rebuke Meredith so firmly.

I must have had a private audience with the tree spirit...

My thoughts multiplied.

I went over what the spirit had said, word by word.

Sorcery and sorcerers.

The interest of a transcendent being.

Its power and luck.

...The fate binding my soul.

I still didn't understand.

As I pondered, a word suddenly struck me like lightning.

*Status window!*

I had briefly suspected it early on when he showed strange behavior, but then dismissed the thought when he didn't act suspiciously afterward!

The protagonist could definitely see status windows. I didn't know the extent, but he could at least see mine.

Had I resolved to hide being a sorcerer in front of the status window?

An indescribable embarrassment washed over me.

The protagonist had already laid out his cards knowing everything, so I should be honest.

"There is a way."

"What? How?"

Meredith asked in surprise.

What excuse should I give him now...

It was one challenge after another.