Ahh, this isn't what I wanted.
A sigh escapes, words bursting forth with despair.
She contemplated and explored the unknown. She had spent much time trying to decipher the unknowns she occasionally encountered throughout her life.
A hobby? No, it wasn't that simple.
Her exploration of the unknown was an essential choice for her survival.
Beasts merely resembling her littered the world, all of them stupid, pathetic, dull creatures roaming about.
Living in a world without amusement is like a terrible curse. Giving up what brought her joy was akin to giving up her life.
That's why she did it.
Seeing Detective Lee Moon-su, who had crushed The Chosen Ones, embraced by a woman resembling New Hope made her curious about what that felt like.
Unable to understand why he could smile like that, she thought of a way to delve into this unknown.
Sai thought of a method. It was to become a powerless, helpless woman.
Executing the method she conceived meant denying all her thoughts up to now, a path that could make everything she had built and created vanish.
But for the sole purpose of delving into the unknown, Sai smiled as she erased her memories and eliminated her powers.
Simply ‘acting’ wouldn't work. Detective Lee Moon-su would easily see through it, so she had to truly get rid of them.
If a helpless woman, knowing nothing and isolated in the world, faced unreasonable circumstances, Detective Lee Moon-su, based on Sai's observations, was likely unable to ignore it.
Of course, she knew how foolish this was. There was no certainty that Detective Lee Moon-su wouldn't actually ignore her amnesiac self.
Humans are so frail, swaying like reeds, despicable creatures.
But seeing him always remain the same, never giving up or yielding even to the trials she prepared for him, Sai thought maybe he was different.
Sai executed the plan.
But, ahh, she shouldn't have done it. The woman felt her tears wouldn't stop.
Sai was inherently meticulous. That's why she prepared a memory retrieval trigger in advance and orchestrated a situation where that trigger could be activated.
She calculated her subordinates' movements in her absence, and everything else, including what her amnesiac self would say and the resulting outcomes.
And today, under the setting sunset sky, her plan was fully executed and completed without the slightest error.
Everything went according to plan. She even resolved the question of how being held by him was different.
She also created a situation to dispose of that pathetic snake who coveted her position.
However, she hadn't expected this.
The time spent with him was too happy. So much so that she wouldn't want to lose it, even if it meant discarding everything she had.
Eating with him, sleeping, waking up, starting the day.
Engaging in acts she had previously deemed meaningless, Sai felt happiness alongside Detective Lee Moon-su.
Ahh, I was lonely, a cold person. Looking at the man before her, what captivated her gaze wasn't interest in his values and actions.
Like the people she had seen countless times in her life and always mocked, she had felt the emotion called ‘love’.
Sai couldn't stop laughing through her tears. It felt like her head was filling with water, like a dagger was plunged into her chest, twisting.
Realizing what love was only now felt ridiculous, and now that she recognized the emotion, everything was over.
Detective Lee Moon-su instantly realized she had regained her memories and fired the gun.
Seeing him glare at her with fierce eyes, Sai felt a pain as if her heart was being ripped out.
I hate it. I hate that look. He had been wary of her until the very end, but he hadn't looked at her like that. Wishing he would look at her with the same gaze as before, Sai uttered words like an excuse.
“However, everything I just said was sincere, Vice-Captain. Eating together with you for two months was fun, spending time together was warm, being held by you made me happy enough to cry. Ahh, right, I was curious about the name of this emotion.”
“Now I know what this is. ……Ahhh- This won't do, Vice-Captain. If I reflect on everything I've done and beg for forgiveness, if I promise not to do bad things anymore, will you accept me?”
He had told her amnesiac self that he would wait.
He was the one who said he would show kindness to a woman with nothing in the world, if she admitted her crimes and received punishment.
Couldn't I, the current me, also be forgiven if I did the same? Sai asked, a mix of hope and fear making her unsure of her own expression.
He, Detective Lee Moon-su, the first man she had ever loved, spoke so coldly and firmly.
“You killed people.”
I know.
“How can you get forgiveness from someone who's already dead.”
They were just beasts, barely resembling her. The person she wanted forgiveness from wasn't them, but the man right in front of her.
"And I'm not the one you should be asking for forgiveness. You should be asking the people you killed for forgiveness."
He declared coldly. Seeing him grit his teeth, sending a gaze filled with hatred, Sai knew instinctively.
"But do you even remember a single person you killed?"
That she could never return to how things were just a few hours ago.
Her mind understood everything he was trying to say, yet she couldn't empathize emotionally; only her head understood.
He said the apology was not owed to him, but to the people Sai had killed and hurt until now.
But no matter how hard she tried, Sai couldn't recall anything about who she had ruined and how.
Does anyone remember the shape of an ant they stepped on while walking? Can anyone remember how the trampled grass was crushed?
It's not about good memory, but about interest. Sai herself had killed people with the same sensation as crushing ants and grass until now.
"And I'm genuinely, sincerely asking out of curiosity. Can you yourself be sure that you won't kill people from now on?"
'No.' Even if careful not to step on ants, she inevitably would, and she couldn't live worrying about such trivial things.
“Son of a bitch.”
Since Sai couldn't utter a word, he spoke.
Seeing his contemptuous and disgusted eyes, Sai suffered pain like molten iron inside and thousands of needles stabbing her entire body.
I want to go back. I hate seeing him make that face. It was better when I had lost my memory.
If only I didn't know anything, if I could return to the past, I want to go back.
Is there no way? I was happy just a few hours ago, why did it have to become like this?
“I don't like this…….”
A sound like weeping escaped Sai's lips, a murmur of despair and grief.
Amidst this, Sai heard approaching sirens and felt the vibrations from below cease.
Contrary to her heart, which felt like it would shatter any moment, her body moved on its own.
She struck the ground with force, and the result was far from light.
The ground overturned, the entire redevelopment area shook and collapsed as if in an earthquake.
It was a true catastrophe. The approaching police cars couldn't withstand the shock and flipped, and the redevelopment area instantly collapsed.
Amidst all this, Detective Lee Moon-su was swept away by the spreading shockwaves. Sai immediately reached out to save him, but-
“Detective!”
New Hope rescued Detective Lee Moon-su. Flying through the disaster scene, using concrete and building fragments as footholds, she was like a bird.
Sai stared at New Hope with bloodshot eyes, at the one who had broken through the catastrophe so easily.
Detective Lee Moon-su held him in her arms, as New Hope checked on him with a worried gaze.
Seeing that sight, she felt the blood rush to her head, a sensation like her reason snapping.
Why can't I be there? Sai thought, feeling her heart pound as if it would burst. She pondered what this emotion was and soon found the answer.
Jealousy. Yes, jealousy.
I am here as his enemy, as the criminal that he, a police officer, must capture. Declaring this in the past felt cursed, yet New Hope was by his side.
It was like that from the beginning. The one who saved him, the one he trusted, was New Hope.
Sai bit her lip hard enough to draw blood. New Hope was an innate Super like herself.
A being considered human, like herself. But how were she and New Hope different, that she antagonized him while New Hope stayed by his side?
What exactly was the difference? Was the world she saw not just a despicable place filled with beasts resembling her? What kind of world did New Hope see?
It's unreasonable, unfair. I'd rather erase everything and start over. But that's impossible.
Then what should I do? Should I give up on everything?
No, absolutely not. If I give up here, everything is over.
Sticky thoughts churned ceaselessly, driving her brain, but her thinking process grated as if rusted inside her head.
Thoughts... aren't connecting.
“Who… Who exactly are you?”
Suddenly, New Hope asked Sai. Sai felt her thoughts slowly proceed, albeit in a warped direction.
Who am I? A criminal. By modern society's standards, the worst kind of villain who killed people, threw the world into chaos, and felt no guilt for it.
That was the difference between her and New Hope. But even recognizing it, it was a huge wall that could never be overcome.
In that case, what if...
If that wall disappeared, if laws and justice all became meaningless, couldn't she also be by his side?
“Haha.”
Sai herself couldn't understand how her thoughts had connected like this. Even to herself, it was an absurd development of thought.
But—there's a possibility.
New Hope's face stiffened upon seeing Sai's smile, realizing Sai was the only other Super like herself. Sai had held an interest bordering on favor towards her, but not anymore.
It became clear that this woman would interfere with her plans.
But she couldn't deal with her here and now. To break New Hope, simply killing her wasn't enough.
New Hope had to die having lost all the faith and trust she received from Detective Lee Moon-su. It had to be that way. Therefore—
“……I don't know who you are. But I won't let you run rampant any longer!”
New Hope clenched her fist and charged. Sai kicked her at a speed several times faster.
“Kahak?!”
New Hope flew backwards, shocked as if she couldn't even follow her speed with her eyes.
She had expectations because New Hope was a Super like herself, but she was still too weak. If she grew more, she might surely be able to take her head, but not yet.
Sai looked down at such New Hope, then looked at the unconscious Detective Lee Moon-su. What filled her eyes was affection.
“If everything that could be called a wall dividing you and me were to disappear, Vice-Captain, we could surely be together, right? In such a world, we could be together, right?”
Sai smiled, beautiful as a goddess, terrifying as a death god.
The sunset had completely faded, darkening the sky. She vanished from the spot.
And the place she headed to was her right hand's location: Yagi. She was sitting in her office like a doll.
Yagi's eyes widened as Sai approached her. She looked surprised.
Sai smiled looking at Yagi. She hadn't moved at the last moment, just as Sai wanted.
She had predicted how Yagi would react if unable to receive orders for months, and as expected, Yagi had sought out her amnesiac self.
She had also admirably followed the words spoken by her amnesiac self.
A useful doll that follows her words well. Worthy of praise, but there was still something this one needed to do.
“Yagi.”
“Yes. Lady Sai.”
“I want to destroy everything. Will you help me?”
She intended to destroy everything, including all that Yagi had built up until now. Yagi likely knew Sai's thoughts, which is why Sai asked Yagi as a final test.
And to Sai's test, Yagi answered.
“Of course. Everything, if you desire it.”
A perfect answer. Yagi knelt before Sai. Sai couldn't hold back the bursting laughter and laughed.