"Glad things worked out easier than I thought."
I exhaled in relief, taking a large bite of a skewer. My original plan had been to wipe out the inn, strip it of information, and move west immediately. Word was that Nest, the organization Noah founded, was located there.
Just as I was about to leave, Jess's stomach growled. It was well past mealtime.
I couldn't let the kids go hungry, so we ducked into a skewer shop a fair distance from the inn and started piling up orders.
"...To think I could win without even crossing swords."
I took another bite, recalling the slaughter at the inn.
"Killing so many people and eating without a second thought... I think I'm adapting to this dark world better than I realized!"
I didn't care—I'd lived in a world where death was as light as a feather—but I was certainly adapting well.
"Jess, don't eat the wooden skewers. 50 more orders here!"
"Yes!"
Sizzle, clatter!
Jess's appetite was so voracious that the shop owner sweated buckets, grilling meat without pause. Iris swallowed a mouthful and spoke.
"Oppa, who is this person named Noah?"
"Ah, I guess I never told you, Iris."
I put down the skewer, took a sip of water to wet my throat, and began telling her about the past.
I recounted meeting Noah and the kids while I was held as an experiment, being taken in by a black mage named Mia by chance, and being half-kidnapped by Jiso, which led me to Iris.
I lied, claiming I only did cooking and odd jobs; I feared she'd worry if she knew about the experiments. They hadn't been particularly painful, but Iris was a worrier, so I kept it brief.
"Are... are you going to meet that person?"
"Yeah, I want to help her."
"Then I'll help too. Since it's what you want, Oppa."
Iris smiled, her eyes crinkling into half-moons. She was so cute that I ruffled her hair, causing her face to flush a delightful shade of red.
"Hoo-nin! Ah-o! Ah-o! (Master! Me too! Me too!)"
Jess ran to me, mouth full of skewers, and thrust her head forward. Her ears drooped, urging me to pet her. Just as I raised my hand to stroke her head—
Clang! Crack!
A sharp dagger whistled toward me, only to be deflected by Iris's sword. The blade spun away, splitting the table next to us in half.
"Tsk, you're more skilled than you look."
A man's voice came from the corner of the building—the same spot the blade had come from. A man covered head-to-toe in a black robe spoke with a mocking tone.
"I'll retreat for now. But next time..."
The man began to melt into the shadows.
*Ugh... people of that gloomy type are such a pain!*
The kind who wait for you to let your guard down, pop out to throw a pathetic attack, and then vanish!
I was already exhausted just thinking about him appearing while I was using the bathroom, pulling up my pants, or hopping around after stubbing my toe...
*I can't let that nightmare happen!*
Even if I summoned my Demon Sword to attack, the man would be gone faster. How could I catch him before he vanished completely?
I instinctively grabbed a wooden skewer from the table. I threw it at the man with all my might and shouted.
"Jess! Fetch!"
"Kyaang!"
Jess, who had been growling at the man with wide eyes, suddenly opened her eyes like saucers and bolted toward where the skewer had flown.
"Huk...!"
She was so fast she looked like a truck barreling down a highway. I compare her to a truck because... the gloomy man flew away as if he'd been hit by one.
Bang! Crunch! Thud!
The man smashed through the building wall, eyes rolled back, foaming at the mouth as he fainted. He looked like he'd be dead soon.
The skewer shop owner, who had been grilling a mountain of skewers, clutched his head and collapsed to the floor.
"Ah... my family's traditional skewer shop, maintained for five generations... the legacy my mother left me... *sob*... I was going to confess to her after paying off all my debts..."
Seeing the owner sit there pitifully, spouting clichés, I felt like I'd done something terrible. I approached him, cold sweat trickling down.
"Um..."
"Master, I'm sorry. I really am a good-for-nothing! *Sob*..."
I was about to hand the money from my pocket to the sobbing owner, when—
Thud!
"Hey! Shop owner, get out here!"
The shop door, which had been wide open when we entered, had been kicked in by a stranger.
"If you borrowed money, you have to pay it back!"
"Oh, business must be good? You've got a pile of skewers here?"
I silently looked back and forth between the two thug-like men and the assassin—presumably—stuck in the wall.
*Wait... a guy is stuck in the wall, and nobody cares?*
This was definitely... something that only happened in a Gag World. The moment I realized that fact, it clicked.
*Ah, my Authority was activated! But why?*
The Authority was supposed to activate against those who threatened me. That meant the skewer shop owner spouting clichés and the thugs ignoring the fallen man were threatening me.
*Though, to say that... hmm...*
The thugs were only threatening the shop owner and didn't even glance at me. I was panicking, not knowing what was going on, when one of the thugs looked back at me, jaw dropping.
"Ugh! Boss! Isn't that the guy from the wanted poster earlier?!"
"What? Oh! That's him, that's him!"
Wanted poster?
Those affected by the Gag Filter became helpful exposition machines.
"He's the madman who ruined Deviathan's operation and escaped... Hiyah, he's eating in Deviathan's territory even after a bounty was placed on him... He's got guts!"
"The bounty on him was 10 gold coins, right?"
"Hehehe... We hit the jackpot! Plus, the girl next to him is pretty, so we'll make a nice profit selling her too!"
Only after hearing them did I realize why this situation had occurred.
*Since the Deviathan guys started threatening me... my Authority activated across this entire district!*
My pupils began to shake violently.
*Wait, does that mean everyone has become immortal?*
No sooner had I thought that than the thugs approached me to throw a punch.
"Grrr!"
"Get lost."
Jess bit the throat of the man rushing at her, and Iris spat out a curse and sliced the other man's throat.
Slash, thud!
"Ah, so they aren't immortal."
I exhaled in relief, looking at the two men who had cleanly become corpses. I'd almost made the Deviathan guys invincible.
"Oh, wait."
I felt my brain buffering at a sudden realization.
*That means... they act like residents of a Gag World, but their lives are finite?*
In that instant, I could foresee the destruction of Deviathan.
"...Guys, let's get to the western district as fast as possible. This place seems too dangerous."
"Okay."
"Alright! Master!"
Jess hugged my waist and nodded. She looked at me with sparkling eyes, ears drooping, so I stroked her head, making her tail wag furiously.
"Let's go, Iris."
"...Okay."
I reached out to Iris, who had been watching Jess intently. She smiled like a blooming flower and took my hand.
Jess didn't want to let go of my body, but when I gently coaxed her that we needed to separate for fast travel, she let go with a sullen face.
I left the money for the skewers and the broken furniture on the table and walked out of the skewer shop.
***
"Ugh! D, damn it! Get lost!"
"You get lost! Ugh!? Y, you're falling!"
The butts of two burly men, who looked like bowling pins, had been stuck together with glue.
The two struggled in an awkward position before eventually falling over. The two fallen men began to roll down the sloped road.
"Waaaaah!"
"Kuhk..! S, save me!"
With an ominous crunching sound, they began to roll, destroying all the boxes containing goods from other shops along the way.
"Ugh! Our shop's goods!"
"W, who the hell is it!"
The shop owners popped out late, cursing and trying to find the culprit, but the culprit had already rolled too far away to be found.
"Damn it... Hopin! It's you, isn't it!"
"Huh? It's not me, it's you!"
They would have had a rational conversation normally, but they were blinded by rage, cursing each other, and soon began fighting by throwing items scattered on the ground.
If it were a Gag World, they would have just ended up with bruises, but since this was a dark fantasy world, blood began to splatter instantly.
"Hey! Miss, want to have a cup of tea with me?"
"Hmph, no thanks."
A woman working in the red-light district sneered and smacked the man's face with her bag. The man's neck snapped with a crack, and he collapsed on the spot.
"Wow..."
Rian looked around and said.
"What a mess."