* Sexy ☆ Reina ☆ Beam!
Orbié.
Alex, freshly installed as lord of the estate, was neck-deep in scheming as always — or rather, things were decidedly not going according to plan.
"I can't make heads or tails of this... Tripol, who was supposed to be importing the drugs, got swept up in what looks like Demon King army business, and the nearby city got hammered by the Second Prince Faction and wiped out... Seems like they haven't reached this far yet, but if I make any more moves now, I might give them something to grab onto..."
With short brown hair and sharp, fox-like black eyes, he was exactly the kind of man who looked like he'd been born to cook up schemes. Having once made a contract with Reina to request the murder of his own father, he was hardly what you'd call a normal human being — and today, too, he was plotting something cunning. But reshaping an entire domain turned out to be a whole lot harder than running a bandit gang.
'Above all else, building a land where you can indulge every desire right under the kingdom's nose is no small feat... With war practically on the doorstep, the atmosphere around here is razor-tight, and no matter what I do, it's hard to make a move. One wrong step and I get mistaken for a Demon King army puppet and strung up by my neck — that'd be a problem. But if I just sit still like this, I won't be able to keep what I promised Reina.'
The promise he'd made with her.
To turn this land into a realm of desire worthy of Alex's vision, and to bind Reina to it.
Using the privileges of lordship to strip her of her rights — cutting off her limbs if he wanted, ordering her to go without clothes, tying her down with a formal Contract Document... If he could make her the most wretched, lowliest existence in a street overflowing with depravity, then Reina, with her craving for ruin, would close her eyes in bliss as if she'd finally crawled into a cradle.
But...
"The outlook is grim. Once the war ends and the new order kicks in, the Second Prince will lead the charge to root out all the darkness. If not now, there won't be another chance to reshape this land — but the most crucial piece, Tripol, has collapsed, and Bere, which I'd planned to use if that fell through, is now an enemy territory. I need a trading partner to just drop out of the sky... As it stands, there's no way to rope in the merchants operating within this domain..."
He buried his face into his office desk and lamented — just briefly — that being a bandit had been more fun than this, but it must not have been entirely sincere, because he shook his head almost immediately.
『My lord, are you in?』
Right in the middle of that whole sorry state, a woman's voice drifted in from outside the office door, and he responded.
"I'm in. I'm awake. What do you want? This had better be important."
『You have a visitor.』
"A visitor?"
She hadn't even knocked — it was an almost recklessly flat tone of voice — but he didn't so much as flinch, and simply let his puzzlement show.
"Who is it, and from where? I don't recall scheduling any appointments for today."
『He says he's a merchant who's crossed over from Bere. He says he'd like to meet with you, my lord, and have a thorough discussion. What would you like to do?』
'Bere... The fact that he specifically mentioned that city means he's probably a merchant who used to traffic between the Empire and the Kingdom... Given the current situation, merchants who served as go-betweens must also be in a tough spot, so it's no surprise they're anxious — but why would he come all the way out to this backwater...?'
『─My lord?』
'...No, actually, does it matter? I've been wanting to talk to a merchant from that side too. Let's consider this a timely opportunity.'
Nod.
"Go ahead and let him in. Given the circumstances, make sure to search him thoroughly."
『Understood.』
The woman's voice beyond the door faded, and there was a considerable wait. Though lord he may be, it seemed he had few servants, as he got up to brew the tea himself and then moved away from his work desk to sit in the chair intended for receiving guests. While waiting for the other party, the maid — about as warm and personable as a doorstop — tonelessly said 「This is Alex-nim's office」 and promptly disappeared.
"So you're the merchant who wanted to meet with me."
"Yes. Lord Orbié. Given how things are, I hope you'll forgive the rather abrupt manner of my visit."
A middle-aged man with nothing particularly remarkable about him sat down, dressed in clothes so thin there was nowhere to hide a weapon. What followed was a stretch of totally formulaic small talk that made Alex's ears want to bleed.
His name, where he'd come from, what kind of goods he dealt in, why he'd come all this way...
Nothing he could actually pin down — the kind of answers that amounted to 「Things are the way they are, and I figured I'd scrape together some cash before it all goes to hell, so here I am」 — formal, formal, so utterly formal... And then, just when the conversation seemed to be loosening up, the man finally put his teacup to his lips, glanced around the room, and smiled.
"My, this truly is a red room. How shall I put it — forgive me for saying so, but it's rather... distinctive. Are you aiming for the throne, my lord, perhaps?"
"That's the previous lord's taste. I've renovated as much as I can, but there's a limit. Truly vile hobby, isn't it?"
"I wouldn't go that far... Perhaps a touch on the extravagant side, I'd say..."
He'd dealt with the bodies, ripped out the flooring, purged the smell, and tore out everything that had been gaudily dressed up like a throne room — the red lights, the ornaments, all of it. And yet not everything could be removed. Especially the red that lingered in the walls and among the remaining decorations — those were remnants of the past. Even the cold, charmless maid currently in his employ was one of the survivors from his father Lawrence's reign, still carrying a certain warped quality to her.
"Right then... I've had enough of the small talk, so let's move on to business, shall we. The reason you kept dodging around calling yourself an 'herb merchant' was probably to see how I'd react — am I wrong?"
"No. You're not wrong. I apologize for the stalling — but my life is on the line, after all. However, I have a feeling I can speak plainly with Lord Alex, so allow me to get to the point."
The merchant smiled with the easy warmth of a man born to make friends. Enough so that Alex wished his maids would take notes.
"I would like to sell a large quantity of psychoactive herbs and their antidotes."
"I'm listening."
This was precisely what Alex had been wanting. The timing was almost too good to believe — certainly suspicious — but there was no choice but to bite. He kept his guard up, but the merchant, as if having anticipated that very suspicion, launched straight into his explanation.
"The capital region of the Empire has been suddenly overrun by demi-humans and monsters, and things are in an absolute mess. It seems information has been suppressed on your side, but the imperial royal house has issued an edict to coexist with them — calling it a 'symbiotic relationship' or some such thing."
"Go on."
"'Symbiotic relationship.' Sounds good on paper, but even in this kingdom, discrimination against demi-humans still exists. And now suddenly it's all monsters and demi-humans across the board... The interior of the Empire is in complete chaos as a result. Monsters and demi-humans are running rampant, and the damage has started reaching those of us dealing in less-than-legal goods as well. Everyone is clearing out."
"Even if the customer is a demon, a merchant still does business, doesn't he? I wouldn't think mere monsters and demi-humans would be enough to make you run."
"That's only true when there's money to be made. The majority of them are thugs, and looting has become rampant in the outer regions with poor security. Right now, with the war about to break out, soldiers are being conscripted left and right, so law enforcement is at its absolute worst — there's no one left to hold those creatures back. And even if I tried to make clients out of them, most demi-humans and monsters have some kind of poison resistance, so drugs barely work on them."
In other words, they weren't even worth calling customers, and he wanted nothing more to do with them.
"Where did you hear about me?"
"There's a merchant connected to Tripol who crossed over to this side and passed the information along to me as well. For safety's sake I can't say the name, but appearance-wise, he has this obscenely protruding belly and an absurdly excessive interest in women..."
"...The slave trader?"
"You know him! Yes, that's the man."
He recalled the merchant he'd often dealt with back in his bandit days. The same man who had left in exasperation upon hearing Reina's moaning.
"I took everything I had and made my way here via a detour around Bere... I'm wondering if a deal can be struck..."
"That's vague... What I want is the cultivation method. I'm saying I want everything — growing the plants directly on this land, all the way through to producing the drugs here."
"I have that information as well."
"Oh? You're willing to sell it?"
"I'd like to wash my hands of this business entirely, so if you'd be willing to buy everything I've brought with me..."
'He's trying to offload his entire stock. Beneath all that sob story, he's a merchant right down to his bones.'
It would be a massive expenditure — but it was precisely what Alex had been after, and he nodded, just about to reach out and shake the man's hand.
『Alex-nim.』
"What is it — I'm in the middle of an important discussion. If it's nothing urgent, it can wait."
『This isn't nothing.』
"It's getting terribly loud and rowdy out there... Is there some village festival going on today?"
『No, that's not it...』
Boom!
Before she could even finish, an explosion thundered from somewhere around the estate. Alex's eyes narrowed, and his gaze snapped to the merchant sitting across from him. Given the timing alone, this man was the only one worth suspecting.
"What was that just now?"
『We're under attack. A group of assassins is tearing through the estate.』
"An attack?! My cart is alright, isn't it?! That's my entire life savings in there...!!"
'Well, it doesn't seem to be this guy's doing.'
Even so, the merchant was clearly not faking it — he was genuinely flustered. The man had come from the Empire, so being a vanguard of the Demon King army was a possibility, but apparently that wasn't the case.
"What's the situation? How many enemies? If you're going to report, report properly."
『It appears to be a group of Dark Elves affiliated with the Demon King army. The guards are fighting back, but the enemy is highly skilled — they say it won't be long before they reach here.』
"They're that good? How many of them? Hey, why did you stop talking— I told you to report properly...!!"
『My apologies. There are approximately 50... I'm monitoring the condition of the estate via detection magic, but the guards are being swept away like autumn leaves. Perhaps it would have been wise to spend a bit more and hire competent security after all.』
"Don't speak so casually in a situation like this! As if it isn't bad enough that I had all the secret passages sealed up during the renovations... Thanks to that, I'm trapped like a rat in a barrel!"
『From where I'm standing, the situation doesn't seem quite dire enough to be that worked up about...』
"...What? What do you mean by that?"
『I'll cut contact for a moment. Pardon me.』
"Hey, hey! You're not running away, are you?! Hey! You cheap knockoff of a maid!"
She had her cold, flat demeanor because she was one of Lawrence's victims — he understood that. But even she wasn't the type to speak like that in a moment like this, which made it all the more puzzling. Her tone was almost like someone reporting on something that had already been resolved. Whatever was happening outside must have already reached some kind of conclusion — and that thought, oddly, calmed him down. Sure enough, the explosions that had been ringing out moments ago quickly died away.
"Whatever's going on, it seems to have gone quiet outside..."
"She spoke so casually despite all that and... Something I don't know about is happening out there, isn't it...?"
Just to be safe, he cautiously made his way to the window and looked down — the estate's courtyard was cratered in places, bodies were strewn about, and the sheer spectacular mess of it all was well beyond what the guards alone could have caused in a counterattack. He had no idea what had happened.
'I can't see anyone...'
That was all the window had to offer. The battle had barely started before there wasn't a soul in sight beyond the corpses — he was just starting to feel a creeping unease at that, when he heard something pounding down the corridor. Dododo-do-do-do-do-do-do.
'-An enemy?'
Former bandit boss though he may look otherwise. He grabbed the decorative sword hanging on the wall — just as a boot slammed the door open and an intruder burst in.
"Hkh—! H—ha—haa—haaaaah! Hhuuuh!"
A dark-haired Dark Elf, body wrapped in a brown robe. Covered head to toe in wounds. She'd kicked open the door and barreled forward in that same posture, hit the floor rolling, and looked around with an expression that could only be described as desperate.
"Hyik?!"
"What an unwelcome guest. I don't recall extending an invitation to any scraggly individual such as yourself."
The merchant dove behind the sofa, and as Alex stepped forward drawing his sword, the Dark Elf finally registered that Alex was there. The fact that she hadn't noticed him immediately made it abundantly clear she was running from something, with absolutely no composure to spare.
"Y-y-you — you're the lord of this estate, Alex Orbié! I am the leader of the Black Mist, assassin group of the Demon King army...! I've come to take you with me!"
"I haven't the faintest idea what could have happened to you, but seeing how exhausted you are, I don't feel even remotely threatened! Here, take a seat — I'll personally brew you a cup of tea!"
"You small-time bandit boss! Don't act so smug! My life is on the line here!"
Clang!
'Good grief, what in the world is going on...'
The sword Alex had drawn snapped instantly. Then again, it was a decorative sword, and its wielder was a bandit, while the other party was a genuine assassin who'd come crawling out of the muck... The Dark Elf assassin, despite having won, frantically spun around and pressed a dagger to the back of his neck — yet that very desperation transmitted itself to Alex and somehow made him even calmer instead.
"Hh... hhh... hh... hh... Hey! I know you're in there! Come out! You monster of a woman!"
Keeping Alex as a hostage, she shouted toward the door she'd come crashing through — and then all his questions were answered at once.
Thud... thud...
Thud... thud...
Because beneath the red lights that still bore the stain of the previous lord's tastes, a red-haired monster stepped calmly into view...
"Heya, my darling~♡"
"Reina... Of course. That's why everyone was so calm..."
"With me around, there's nothing to be scared of, right?"
"Beyond that — you're complete overkill. The assassin over there is trembling like a newborn deer."
Not much time had passed since they'd last parted, so there was no 「long time no see」 to exchange. Reina was the same, showing up in the bunny girl outfit he'd given her, acting like a friend who'd come to visit just yesterday — and the only one among them without a shred of composure was the Dark Elf assassin.
"Why are you here?! How did you even know?! Did some part of Sloth-sama's plan leak somewhere?!"
"Nononono~! Think about it! You guys always do the same thing!"
"Do what?!"
"Taking the people dear to us hostage and using them as leverage! Same one trick every single time, it's genuinely disgusting! Ha, it's stupid but it does work... The hero ended up in that situation because of it... So I figured, if there's a next time, it'll probably be my side — and I just popped back home for a quick visit, and... I honestly never dreamed I'd run into this on the very day I arrived. Ahaha!"
"What are the odds of coming home right on the day we attack?! That kind of coincidence doesn't happen!"
"Our party survives precisely because coincidences like that pile up. Well, even we find it kind of unreasonable, luck-wise. It's almost enough to make you think some god is watching over us somewhere. In which case, does that make our escape from the Empire this time something like a miracle too?"
She giggled and said something similar had happened plenty of times during the war with the Demon King army, and she stepped forward — and to frighten her off as she approached, the assassin dug the blade in deeper.
"Don't move! Take one more step and this man is dead!"
"Weren't you trying to kidnap Alex to use as leverage against me? But if you kill him, it's over."
"To hell with that! My own life comes first!"
"But if you actually kill him, I'll kill you on the spot anyway, so it ends up the same either way, doesn't it?"
"That's... that may be, but...! No — don't try to stall me with that kind of talk! I won't be fooled!"
"Oh yeah? Then since I can't come closer, how about you look me in the eyes from right there?"
"What's so special about your eyes—"
"──Sexy ☆ Reina ☆ Beam!"
In an instant, Reina's eyes lit up, and from those eyes — a beam went pyuuuung—!
"Wha?! Mrghuoooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!"
The head went BOOM—☆
Splatter-splatter-splatter-splatter-splatter-!!
"Blech!"
"That — that — that crazy bitch, what the actual f*ck..."
The Dark Elf, still in the exact posture of holding Alex hostage, now had only that posture — because her head was gone. Brain matter had been sprayed in all directions, eyeballs were rolling across the floor, and Alex's cheek, already drenched in blood, now had chunks of what had formerly been a Dark Elf plastered all over it.
"Sexy Reina Beam! Effect! The target dies on impact! The trade-off is that I have to charge up breath power in my eyeballs and tear ducts first, so it hurts like hell for me too~!!"
Best attack there is for hostage rescue or a surprise hit, the idiot dragon declared, giggling as she rubbed the smoke rising from her eyes with the back of her hand — while the only one left suffering was Alex, who was now in a state that went beyond bloodsoaked and well into the realm of the grotesque, grinding his teeth.
"Are you even human..."
"Hmph — human?! Obviously I'm a Dragon!!"
"There can't possibly be another Dragon like you... You absolute f*cking disaster... primitive... brain-dead lunatic..."
"I went out of my way to save you and you can't even pay me a compliment?"
"Please just go die in a ditch somewhere... you f*cking psycho..."
Eyes closed... blood trickling down his forehead, crossing the bridge of his nose, drip by drip...
The Dark Elf's headless corpse right beside him was still gripping Alex with rigor-mortis firmness, a sensation that the word 「unpleasant」 woefully failed to capture. He muttered that getting kidnapped would have been a hundred times better than this, and a sulky Reina refused to help him, leaving him standing there with the corpse until the maids finally came back.
A reunion after not quite long enough to be called long... a reunion that felt nothing like one...
In the midst of this bewildering atmosphere, only the completely uninvolved merchant had a face like he was about to cry — and absolutely no one paid him any attention.