It seems like the wound was quite deep, as he can't even get up without crutches, let alone walk properly.
“Ouch… It hurts.”
Although it was said that it was treated temporarily, I can't heal my wounds right away like Carnelian.
So, it may need to be treated with herbs or surgery… … .
Honestly, where would you find a doctor in this vast, deserted North?
“Ugh….”
-Oh my god
It hadn't been long since the bandage was removed, but the blood was gushing out and the pus was sticky, and there was no thought of taking the bandage off.
The wounded area had a rather ugly appearance.
"after."
Even just removing one bandage requires a lot of preparation, and now there are dozens of these small wounds.
Honestly, whenever I see wounds like these, I feel like death is right before my eyes.
There are no proper treatment facilities, and they are just using the herbs they have at hand to patch things up temporarily, so it is questionable how long this will last.
And while I was thinking this, I heard loud footsteps outside.
-Kuuung… …Kuuung… …Thud!!
As I approached, the sound grew louder, so I cautiously opened the window and looked outside.
“What on earth are you bringing here again!!”
Lately, I wonder if it's because I've been hurt, or if I've become a bit overprotective, or if it's because I'm not of any help.
Even if you ask for a small favor, he blows it out of proportion and makes a big deal out of it.
Today, yesterday, and the day before yesterday… … .
“Oh, is this what you mean?”
“Haa… Why on earth did you catch that bear again??”
“I caught it because I was hungry!”
“Don’t you remember what you caught yesterday?”
"hmm……?"
I'm sure I heard you were hungry yesterday, so I went to the mountains far away and caught a big sleeping bear.
This time, we caught a bear that was almost twice as big as the mother bear or father bear.
Oh my, you're still alive in the middle of all that?
I can see that big body breathing heavily, and you just brought it in like that??
***
“Ah… um…….”
Rio's expression gradually becomes more and more frowning as he leans his injured body out the window.
I guess something went wrong again… What did I do wrong?
“Rio, why are you making such a face again?”
“Why do you think that is?”
“No matter how much I think about it, in this situation, the only thing that makes you feel bad is that I did something wrong.”
“Okay~! Why is someone like you acting like this these days?”
Why are you whining so cutely again?
I was going to make a delicious meal with the bear I finally caught.
“It’s cold in Rio, so let’s go in first.”
“What are you doing here? Go and release it.”
I thought I wouldn't be able to win if I just pushed through, but of course, that was a trick that worked in the early days of my relationship.
Now that we've done everything we can do, and seen everything we can see, it's a really good sign that we can approach each other without hesitation...
"ah!"
When on earth did you lock the door again?
I told him not to get out of bed because he was sick, but he got up again and locked himself out of bed, so it won't open.
Of course, I could have just ripped it off, but the problem is that there's only one decent house around here, so I just knocked on the door cautiously.
“I guess so……….”
Since there was no response, I went to the window of the bedroom where Rio was lying.
“Why? Why don’t you just come in?”
“Then again, won’t you be angry?”
"of course."
“Would you mind telling me what the hell you’re so angry about?”
“You caught a bear yesterday, didn’t you?”
"right."
I clearly remember that I was hungry yesterday and caught a bear.
I often thought it was a shame that it was a little small, so I caught it today so that I could feed it to a bigger one fresh, so why are you getting so angry about this?
“Then, you caught the bear yesterday, right?”
"okay."
“Have you eaten everything?”
"no."
“So what did you do now?”
First, taking advantage of the cold weather in the north, I took out the parts I had eaten and cut the remaining parts into bite-sized pieces and spread them out in the cold outside.
The leather could be used right away if asked, but it was left out for more precise processing.
“It’s safely stored in the warehouse.”
“You have so much stuff piled up in the warehouse, what symbolism is there in bringing back a bear?”
“Rio, you’re still too young to know much… As the saying goes, you should stock up on food when you have the time, so that you can live without want later.”
A woman who knows too much, which is a problem.
A woman like me… how dependable is this?
-Takkong!!
The moment I thought that, something struck me on the head.
It didn't hurt that much though
“Oh my… If I talk too much, it’ll only hurt my mouth. Let’s go and check out the warehouse.”
After finishing speaking, Rio was seen closing the window and lying down, fluttering the blanket.
“What on earth is in the warehouse… I’m so confused….”
Just grumbling, I walked towards Rio's warehouse and opened it.
-Thud thud thud… … .
“………”
The warehouse was full of bear carcasses.
Meanwhile, the warehouse smelled of blood, as if the blood hadn't been drained properly. There were also many bear carcasses that hadn't even been properly gutted, and the smell of rotting flesh and blood wafted through the air.
***
How many days has it been since I started doing this?
The first day was joyful. The second day was also joyful, but from the third day onwards, something felt strange.
I started to notice symptoms of hoarding something without stopping, day after day.
Since I left the palace that day.
"after……."
The outside is fine. No, it's not just fine, it's a little different from before.
It just annoys me that he keeps doing stupid things and that he tries to make me laugh and have fun.
But it's not like I don't understand the situation.
I've always sacrificed for someone,
“This time, the situation is the opposite.”
And that's with a body that could die at any moment. Honestly, if that situation were to come up again, I doubt I would be able to do something that crazy again.
“What should I do with this?”
It's a bit of a profound concern.
If you had told me to be direct, I wouldn't have thought about it so complicatedly, but I keep avoiding reality little by little.
"I don't know."
Even if I keep thinking about what I don't know, I won't get an answer right away, and for now, it seems like the only way is to hope that time will solve it.
***
I thought about this and that but no answer came to me, so I just fell asleep again because I was a little sick, and then I heard a sound and opened my eyes half-asleep again.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Rio. I didn’t mean to wake you up….”
“……What are you doing?”
“Ah… The wind is coming in through this gap in the window, so I brought a new window and I’m checking the size to see what it’s like.”
“……You say that, but you’re holding a window that doesn’t have any glass.”
"ah?!"
Looking closely, it wasn't a window frame, but rather a piece of wood that had been on the [window] and was held in place to resemble a window frame.
“………….”
“Oh, don’t worry about anything and go back to sleep….”
“Haa… I can sleep quite comfortably.”
“…….”
“Bring a chair and sit next to me. I’m feeling a little sore right now and can’t move.”
I don't really want to talk about this and that.
There is no certainty that things will get better right away even if you do that now.
And then he quickly brought a chair and sat down next to my bed, keeping a little distance between them.
“Come a little closer.”
“Does this feel close enough?”
“Come a little closer.”
It doesn't seem to understand the sound of someone telling it to come closer, so it just moves forward without really moving.
“Okay, here you go.”
“Hmm? Something.”
“I’ve been lying down all day, so my hands aren’t getting enough blood. Could you massage my hands?”
“That’s about it.”
When I asked him to rub my hand, he didn't come closer even though I told him to come closer, and when this happened, he suddenly pulled his chair closer and sat down.
He carefully takes my hand and begins to gently rub it, running his index finger over my palm. He focuses only on my hand and doesn't look at me.
“You control your strength well.”
“Isn’t that obvious? This is the most basic of the basics.”
“Then what happens if you rub it with all your might?”
“That will never happen… absolutely not….”
It's so obvious that he's pretending everything is okay.
The stereotype that one must protect the weak and the people one loves because one is strong is deeply ingrained in one's mind.
Maybe because of what happened last time, I'm not able to face it properly now because of my wounds and the helplessness I feel.
That said, there's nothing I can do right now... Not only is it useless to say it's okay, it might actually make the situation worse.
just.
Be quiet. Wait quietly until the time to punish yourself is over.
I think that's what I need to do now.