Chapter 67: You are so talkative! (1/2)
Although Fang He had caused quite a scene at the New Year’s Eve palace banquet, she was personally escorted back by the Emperor himself.
The imperial kitchens dared not neglect her and had already prepared her favorite dishes, which were promptly delivered to the First Residence Hall.
Fang He amused herself by rolling eggs over her and Cui Wei’s eyes to reduce the swelling, leisurely ate her fill, and only then began to listen to Cui Wei recount the events of the previous night.
In truth, she had already started feeling tipsy after her second bowl of pear soup.
This body had a low tolerance for alcohol, and before she knew it, she had blacked out.
Cui Wei began her tale from the moment Fang He drank the second bowl of pear soup.
At this moment, she had never admired her mistress more.
Even as a serving maid, she felt as if the sky were about to fall.
After all, in palace life, life and death weren’t the most critical matters-face was.
It wasn’t uncommon for disfavored mistresses to live worse than respectable servants or eunuchs.
Thus, Cui Wei hated the schemer even more, someone so ruthless they wouldn’t even dirty their own hands but sought to make the mistress lose the will to live.
Unfortunately for them, Fang He’s expression didn’t change in the slightest; she didn’t even pause in cracking melon seeds.
Cui Wei continued: “Later… I heard you crying in the sedan chair, but you fell asleep soon after. His Majesty personally carried you to bed.”
Fang He thought to herself, well obviously-was he supposed to toss her onto the bed from a distance?
After hearing Cui Wei’s account and seeing both her and Chunlai watching her expectantly, Fang He calmly brushed off the melon seed shells from her hands and asked with a faint smile, “How are Xinke, Xinnan, Xinhua and Xinzi progressing with their etiquette lessons? Could they pass muster?”
Cui Wei stamped her foot anxiously, “How can you think of such things at a time like—”
Seeing Fang He’s raised eyebrow, she could only answer dutifully: “They’re doing well.”
“Good. Chunlai, take those four and come with me to the Cining Palace.”
While cracking melon seeds earlier, Fang He had already swiftly formulated a crisis management plan in her mind.
Other things she might not excel at, but having worked in the front office department, she knew one misstep could easily tarnish the hotel’s reputation.
Rapid and effective crisis management was a standard every mid-level manager in the front office had to master through repeated evaluations.
Cui Wei’s heart sank, fearing her mistress might think her useless, and hurriedly said, “Then I—”
“Wei Zhu will guard the Tousuo Hall. You must ensure no one enters or leaves without my orders,” Fang He interrupted, then turned to Cui Wei.
“You’ve catalogued the storeroom and know exactly how much silver we have. I don’t care what methods you use-find out which masters stand behind all the servants who attended the imperial concubines last night. Use whatever funds you need from the storeroom.”
Cui Wei immediately straightened up, “This servant will spare no effort!”
Without another word, Fang He set off grandly toward the Cining Palace with Chunlai, Xinke and the others in tow.
Due to tensions between Northern Mongolia and Western Mongolia, Emperor Kangxi would take his ministers to the Southern Study after court to discuss military strategy.
These sessions could end as early as two hours later, or sometimes even extend through lunch.
It was now just 10am-Princes Yu and Gong would certainly still be at the Southern Study.
They were the perfect targets for her golden 24- hour crisis management window.
After entering the Qianqing Palace through the Yuehua Gate, Fang He stood quietly near the Office of Imperial Household Affairs and the Qianqing Gate with her attendants, waiting.
Gu Wenxing, hearing the commotion, came to greet her.
“Your Highness, this is… Should someone inform His Majesty?”
Fang He smiled politely at Gu Wenxing.
“No need. I’m here to apologize to Prince Gong. I’ll just wait here for a while. You don’t have to-”
She didn’t lower her voice, and the palace maids and eunuchs coming in and out of the Office of Imperial Household Affairs all heard her.
Soon, the news spread throughout the Qianqing Palace and gradually reached the rear palace and the officials’ duty rooms.
The imperial concubines in the rear palace were eager to see how Fang He would humbly apologize, but after all, this was the Qianqing Palace.
Without a summons, none of them dared to barge in openly like Fang He.
However, the officials in the duty rooms had fewer reservations.
Especially after hearing about the “Monkey Concubine” incident in the palace last night, they all wanted to see what kind of concubine would dare to drunkenly curse at Prince Gong.
After all, the palace was a place where one wouldn’t even dare to talk in their sleep.
Soon, curious officials or those instructed by the rear palace began to gather at the Qianqing Palace under the pretext of reporting official business.
Chunlai, noticing the increasing number of officials peering toward the Qianqing Gate, couldn’t help but feel annoyed.
Had these officials grown a spine?
Weren’t they afraid His Majesty would strip them of their official hats?
She stepped forward and whispered, “Your Highness, perhaps we should go to the Office of Imperial Household Affairs—”
“No need. Let them watch,” Fang He said with a smile.
She had made such a grand display precisely to be seen.
If no one watched, what was the point of her coming?
Outside, the commotion couldn’t have escaped Kangxi’s notice.
However, with urgent military reports still being discussed, he couldn’t simply dismiss the meeting.
Yet he didn’t want Fang He to be gawked at like a spectacle.
He leaned over and whispered a few words to Liang Jiugong.
Liang Jiugong bowed slightly and, when no one was looking, slipped over to where Changning was seated, quietly reminding him—
“Your Highness, this servant will assist you in clothes.”
Changning was baffled.
He didn’t need to relieve himself.
What was this about changing clothes?
But when he looked up and saw Kangxi’s gaze, realization dawned, and he stood up casually.
“Your Majesty, this humble brother will excuse myself to change and return shortly.”
He was curious about what needed to be discussed in the privy.
But once he stepped out of the South Study, he didn’t even need to ask.
He knew exactly what was going on.
The real conversation wasn’t in the privy; it was right by the Qianqing Gate.
Fang He stepped forward, performed a crisp curtsy, and spoke openly, “This concubine behaved improperly under the influence of alcohol last night and spoke disrespectfully to Prince Gong. I’ve come to offer my sincerest apologies.”
Changning suppressed a laugh but raised an eyebrow deliberately.
“And what if this prince refuses to accept?”
“Then that is naturally Prince Gong’s prerogative. It would only mean this concubine’s apology wasn’t sincere enough,” Fang He replied with an unchanged smile.
But under the covert yet burning gazes of the onlookers behind her, her tone suddenly shifted.
“As the saying goes, ‘No acquaintance without a quarrel.’ And there’s another old saying: ‘A hundred years of cultivation to cross a river together, a thousand years to share a pillow.’ This concubine and Prince Gong must share some fate.”
Changning’s expression darkened.
Damn it, how could this little sister-in-law be so bold, saying such things!
If today’s words got out, her calling him a “demon” last night would pale in comparison.
He quickly interjected, “Lady Zhao, please mind your words. I didn’t take last night’s incident to heart, but if you make another spectacle of yourself, I won’t be held responsible!”
Fang He laughed openly and said frankly, “This concubine merely wishes to say that since Your Highness and His Majesty are blood brothers, I might boldly claim some kinship with Your Highness. Surely this must be a bond forged over five hundred lifetimes?”
“Good.”
“If Your Highness finds my sincerity lacking, then I can only beg His Majesty to make amends to you on my behalf.”
“After all, we’re all family here. Even the closest tongues sometimes bite teeth-that doesn’t mean we should stop speaking entirely. Don’t you agree?”
Changning: “……”
Well, you certainly aren’t holding back your tongue!
He too was amused and clasped his hands in a casual salute.
“Lady Zhao speaks wisely. It seems I was being narrow-minded. No discord, no concord… as the saying goes.”
“Retreat.”
“Go.”
“Only my Third Brother is worthy of such a remarkable companion as Third Sister-in-law. Let bygones be bygones-there’s no need for you to dwell on past matters.”
Fang He sidestepped Changning’s gesture and gave a slight curtsey.
“In that case, this concubine thanks Your Highness for your magnanimity. I shall take my leave now and not disturb you further.”
With that, she departed without even glancing at how many officials stood behind the Qianqing Gate, leading her maids in another grand procession out through the Yuehua Gate toward Cining Palace.
Truth be told, the ministers who’d gathered to watch the spectacle at Qianqing Gate were either relatives of the imperial family or highly accomplished officials-none were easy to deal with, and most had numerous wives and concubines in their households.
They’d witnessed countless storms in their time.
But a woman like Lady Zhao-witty in speech, unbothered by losing face after being framed, yet capable of such effortless grace and quick remedy to be honest…
They’d never seen her like that, not in the palace nor outside it!
If all women possessed such breadth of mind and sharpness of wit, they wouldn’t have so many domestic headaches.
Thus most found Prince Gong’s words quite reasonable.
No wonder Lady Zhao was favored.
To have such an extraordinary woman by one’s side…
His Majesty was truly blessed.
After concluding discussions at the Southern Study, Kangxi listened to Liang Jiugong’s detailed account of Fang He’s words and actions.
Mirth quickly spread across his eyes, impossible to conceal.
Not that he tried to hide it.
This sweet fruit he’d longed for years to hold, going through such pains to finally coax into his arms-of course she differed from other women.
With a smile, he instructed Liang Jiugong, “Go, relay my words to Zhao Chang. Tell him to tighten his hide. If Lady Zhao uncovers anything before he does, making me lose face before her, he can forget about keeping that skin of his!”
Liang Jiugong: “……Aye!”
If you’re worried about losing face, Your Majesty, perhaps you shouldn’t be grinning so proudly!
When Zhao Chang privately received the verbal decree relayed by Li Dequan, he too was speechless.
In His Majesty’s view, seasoned and rigorously trained imperial guards couldn’t compare to his pampered, delicate consort?
This wasn’t a warning-it was blatant boasting!
Who was he trying to shame here!
Yet no matter how aggrieved he felt, Zhao Chang had to accept the order respectfully.
He went back to pressuring the guards on duty, making some question their life choices.
Except for one particular “night-soil collector,” who took the words to heart.
While others silently seethed, he subtly reminded them, “This is the same woman who nearly cost His Majesty his throne yet still walks freely before the emperor…”
The shadow guards, suddenly ambushed by memories, instinctively tensed their legs, their expressions growing more solemn.
They really would have to fight for their lives; they had no desire to deal with that ancestor.
Unconcerned with the shadow guards’ inner turmoil, Emperor Kangxi merely instructed Liang Jiugong to monitor the movements of the Tousuo Palace while he attended to the morning’s unprocessed memorials.
It wasn’t until lunchtime that Liang Jiugong came to report.
“After leaving the Qianqing Palace, the concubine went straight to the Cining Palace and has yet to emerge.”
A deeper amusement flickered in Kangxi’s eyes.
That little rascal was indeed clever.
She had deliberately chosen the perfect moment to draw attention, then openly admitted her faults, using her extraordinary composure to shift the court officials’ opinions of her.
As long as this little fox remained so astute, he would continue to favor her.
Any obstacles to Fang He’s future would come from these officials, not the idle-tongued women of the inner court.
The only woman who could influence her path was the Empress Dowager.
That was why, upon leaving the Qianqing Palace, she had immediately gone to the Cining Palace.
Previously, Kangxi had favored Fang He simply because she brought him joy-her lively spirit was uniquely comforting, and he had unconsciously indulged her more.
Now, he suddenly realized there were more layers to Fang He than he’d ever noticed.
Even after losing face, she had quickly grasped the gravity of the situation, which, beyond novelty, made Kangxi admire her actions all the more.
Kangxi smiled and said, “Keep an eye on the Cining Palace. When she emerges, invite her to the Qianqing Palace.”
After all, she had suffered grievances and gone to great lengths he owed her some reassurance and comfort.
But while he had anticipated Fang He’s intentions, he hadn’t foreseen just how far she would go to achieve them.
Upon entering the Cining Palace, she found the Empress Dowager already there, conversing with Xiaozhuang.
Fang He lowered her eyes to conceal her satisfaction.
Her conspicuous hesitation between the Qianqing and Cining Palaces had paid off- the Shoukang Palace had indeed received word.
Noticing Fang He’s arrival, the Empress Dowager couldn’t help but laugh, teasing her deliberately.
“Well, if it isn’t our little troublemaker here for her reward. Pity I didn’t bring any silver today.”
Turning to Xiaozhuang, she added with a smile, “Aunt, would you mind giving this scamp some silver to settle the matter? Otherwise, she might drink too much again and start lamenting her poverty.”
Xiaozhuang shot her a knowing glance, tapping her finger silently in mock reprimand.
As if she couldn’t tell?
The Empress Dowager had clearly rushed here out of concern that she might chastise Fang He, showering the girl with praise and downplaying last night’s antics as harmless mischief.
It was precisely this indulgence that had emboldened Fang He to drunkenly invoke their authority for support.
Playing oblivious, Fang He waited for Wuyunzhu to finish translating before kneeling, her face flushing with contrition.
“This concubine has already apologized to Prince Gong. Coming to the Cining Palace is to seek the Ancestress’s forgiveness.”
Xiaozhuang regarded her coolly.
“Oh? The Emperor claims you were framed. What exactly are you apologizing for?”
Fang He kowtowed respectfully.
“This concubine bears three faults: First, after the Ancestress’s admonishment, I became narrow-minded and careless, allowing myself to be ensnared.”
“Second, I should not have brought the vulgar habits learned among commoners into the palace, leading to improper behavior after drinking and tarnishing the royal dignity.”
“Third, I should not have taken advantage of the favor from the ancestors and Her Majesty the Empress Dowager, thereby implicating both of your reputations.”
“Your humble concubine is deeply aware of the gravity of my offenses and feels unworthy to continue serving His Majesty. I voluntarily request to enter the Grand Buddha Hall to pray for the royal family.”
Fearing Dowager Xiaozhuang might refuse, Fang He sincerely raised her head to let Xiaozhuang see her expression clearly.
“Your humble concubine’s decision to worship Buddha is voluntary, and I believe His Majesty would never object.”
“Firstly, my disgraceful actions require a low-profile approach so people may gradually forget this incident.”
“Secondly, my punishment can serve as a warning to others about the consequences of loose tongues, making them take heed and remember that the royal dignity must never be disrespected.”
After speaking, she kowtowed once more.
“I beg for Your Majesty’s gracious approval!”
Empress Dowager Xiaozhuang, clear-minded and knowing the importance of the matter, finally showed a hint of a smile.
Indeed, this girl could articulate her points clearly, proving that when sober, her thoughts were quite sharp.
“Very well, rise. It’s getting late-have your midday meal before going.”
To demonstrate the consequences of impropriety, even if Xiaozhuang wished for Fang He to return for lunch and pack some essentials before heading to the Grand Buddha Hall from the First Palace, Fang He declined.
She pitifully approached the Empress Dowager and softly pleaded.
“Your humble concubine deserves punishment without delay, lest others misunderstand that I rely on the ancestors’ and Your Majesty’s support to downplay serious matters.”
“I beg Your Majesty to grant me a meal. After eating, I will go straight to the Grand Buddha Hall.”
As for packing, she needn’t lift a finger-Chunlai and Cui Wei could handle it, and anything missed could be sent later.
When Fang He set her mind to something, she pursued it to the fullest.
Her obedient demeanor greatly satisfied Xiaozhuang, who specially ordered dishes to Fang He’s taste, including meat, to satisfy her cravings before her religious retreat.