"Thank you for watching my stream today. I originally just planned to play a game to pass the dodge penalty time, but somehow I ended up seeing it through to the end."
- TTRip: Honestly, I thought you'd say "I'll continue this next time" and escape to League of Champions, but you actually beat it lol
- SilverPanthea: Our streamer is so smart, this kind of puzzle is easy for her!!
- JGamsal: ?? Watching you play agricultural games makes it hard to believe you're actually intelligent, is that really true?
- AbsolaC: Honestly, I can't accept that your movements in League of Champions are all calculated, but seeing you escape the hotel makes me think you're actually smart lol
- AngryTamKen: You memorized all the gimmicks and escaped straight through lol
- TTdomination: There were moments where you pushed through with physical skill, but overall you did use your brain, yeah
"Ah, I didn't do anything special. I just focused on learning from trial and error. If you all committed to memorizing all the details, you could do better than me. Now, shall we go back to League of Champions? Let me turn on the game and get some water. Maybe it's because I drank alcohol, but my throat is so dry."
After clearing the hotel escape.
Now that I've somehow managed the stream atmosphere well, it's time to deal with what I've been putting off.
It was time to sort things out with my sister.
No, saying "sort things out" makes it sound like I'll never see her again.
Should I say "have a serious talk" instead?
...Why do all the phrases that come to mind sound so harsh?
Maybe it's because my mind is troubled.
Anyway.
I can't talk to my sister in front of viewers.
So using getting water as an excuse, I turned off my microphone and left the computer for a moment.
- NoelThirstThief: ??? Why did Noel disappear below?
- Zefuty: What's going on? Surely she wouldn't keep water under her desk
- QueenLexia: Didn't Noel say before that she crawls around at home because she doesn't want to cause noise between floors?
- Fudis: Come on, how much noise could such a skinny person make by walking...
- TTRip: She has only one leg so she has to hop around to move while standing
- Myungho: This might be inappropriate to say, but she'd look like a jiangshi at night... especially since she's so pale
- Ddpqb: You absolute jerk... now I can't unsee it...
I noticed viewers spamming question marks when I disappeared from my desk.
Well, I already said I was getting water, so it would be awkward to come back just to explain.
It's better to finish my business and then explain while queuing for a ranked game.
It's more time-efficient, and less troublesome for me.
...Somehow I always end up having to explain myself whenever I stream.
Putting those thoughts aside, I left my room and gestured to my sister.
"Sis, can you come out for a moment?"
Hmm, after saying it out loud, it sounded like something a famous chef would say to their assistant.
I wondered if my sister might be offended by that.
Fortunately, without saying anything, she got up from the corner of the bed and walked gracefully toward me.
Though I couldn't meet her eyes, feeling awkward about looking at her face like before, I could tell she had a smile on her lips.
"Um, I'm sorry I couldn't properly respond while streaming. Everyone was saying they couldn't see you. So, sis. Are you really a ghost?"
"Hehe, were you scared? Is that why you didn't answer anything I said?"
"I-I did answer some things. I responded to a few things, at least."
"Hmm. It seemed more like you were responding to what the viewers were saying. No?"
Though the content sounded like she was interrogating me, her voice was as kind as always, making it clear that her words were just teasing.
And that made me even more certain that my sister had goodwill toward me.
I don't know why.
Maybe she came to me when I was at my lowest because she felt sorry for me.
Or maybe she's just spending time with me because she's bored.
Or she might have some other purpose.
Either way, she's still my sister.
She doesn't particularly try to do things for me, nor does she expect me to do things for her.
She just stays by my side saying nice things.
Not just saying things that sound nice, but guiding me in a positive direction.
Whether she's a ghost or a hallucination, that's not what matters.
The bond we've built won't crumble over something like that.
So I feel ashamed.
Ashamed that I was reluctant to look back at my sister sitting behind me, even for a moment.
That I was afraid to look at her face.
So I lift my head and face my sister.
Her red eyes sparkled clearly as always.
With her lips curved upward, the corners of her eyes were slightly curved too.
Thanks to that, I could gather my courage and speak firmly.
"I don't care if you're a ghost or a hallucination. What matters is that I'm alive because you kept guiding me. Nagging me to eat even when I didn't want to move a finger, making me shower even when I didn't feel like it. Even though you never actually helped clean the room."
"Hey, I only talked. You did all of that yourself, Noel."
"No, if I had been alone, I would have starved to death long ago. That's why I'm scared. What if you disappear? If I tell people you're a ghost, they'll tell me to go to a shaman or church to exorcise you. If I say you're a hallucination, they'll tell me to go to a hospital. So let's not tell others about your identity. It's not important anyway. I won't worry about it anymore either."
My sister just kept smiling and listening quietly to what I had to say.
She probably had no reason to disagree.
That's true, but...
I wasn't sure what kind of reaction I wanted from her.
Maybe my sister wanted to meet people through me.
But if that was her goal...
If she was a ghost with lingering attachments to this world...
If she had something she wanted to tell someone she left behind, I could listen to that.
But unexpectedly, instead of saying that was fine or that she had other thoughts,
she asked for my opinion.
"Is that really okay with you, Noel?"
"Huh? Um, isn't your opinion what matters here? I'd like to keep living with you, so I think it's better to keep it a secret from the viewers, right?"
"Hmm, that actually doesn't matter to me. It's just something you want to do for me. But I'd rather you did what you want to do. What do you want, Noel?"
It was quite a vague statement.
I thought this would be better for her, so I suggested it.
But she's saying it's not what I want?
No, if I didn't want this, I wouldn't have brought it up in the first place.
But what is she talking about?
What is she trying to say?
Maybe how viewers see her doesn't matter to her at all.
I see.
Not wanting her to disappear is my wish.
I want to talk to her as usual, just like we've been doing all along.
"...I just want to keep living with you like we have been. Is that not possible?"
"If that's what you want, then that's what we'll do. But is that all?"
"...During streams, since viewers don't know, I want to explain that you're off-camera and keep talking with you. I don't want to ignore you because of the stream."
"Then you can do that. Simple, right? I'm not visible on screen, and my voice can't be heard. It's easier for people to accept that someone is talking to you off-camera than to think about ghosts or hallucinations."
"You're right. Just like you said."
I felt like my thoughts were becoming clearer.
Of course, these were things I'd been thinking about all along.
But rather than just guessing on my own,
knowing that someone else thinks the same way makes me feel like it's okay.
But I wasn't done with what I wanted to say to my sister.
As if she knew this, my sister didn't go back to the room and just stood there looking down at me.
With that characteristic bright smile of hers.
As if waiting for me to speak.
"Sis, there's something else I want to ask. This is separate from what we just talked about... um, so..."
"What are you trying to say that's making you hesitate so much?"
"...What's your name?"
Honestly, it's a bit embarrassing that I didn't know until now.
She knows my name, so I feel bad for not knowing hers.
It's true she never mentioned her name.
At first, I was fine just calling her "sis," but later I was afraid to ask because she might tease me for only now being curious, or be disappointed that I still didn't know her name.
But now I really want to know.
Well, she might not have a phone number or address.
But she can at least tell me her name.
So I mustered up the courage to ask despite my embarrassment.
And suddenly she started giggling.
"Ahaha. You didn't know my name all this time, Noel? Well, I never told you, did I?"
"...It's not that I just now became curious. I wanted to ask before, but I kept missing the timing."
"That can happen. But at this point, I don't feel like telling you so easily. Hehe, want to try guessing my name?"
"..."
She didn't seem particularly angry.
But there was a playful tone in her voice, as if she was a bit annoyed.
And asking me to guess her name?
There are so many names out there, what are the chances I'd guess correctly?
She's basically saying she won't tell me.
So I just pouted my lips.
My sister smiled and started heading back to the room.
"How about Yeseul? The complete opposite of Noel."
"The opposite of 'Noel' would be 'dawn' or 'daybreak,' why 'Yeseul'?"
"Hehe, I'm not telling."
Whether she really doesn't want to tell me her real name, or if that is her real name, I don't know.
But the fact that she gave me a name means we can continue living like this, right?
Coming over to our house when she's bored, watching me play games.
Nagging me a bit, or playing with me.
That's enough.
So with a lighter heart, I could follow my sister Yeseul back to my seat.
Perhaps because I spent so much time talking with Yeseul,
comments asking why I was taking so long to drink water appeared.
But thanks to viewers who defended me by mentioning my leg, it didn't even become a controversy.
"Sorry for the delay. But I can't run around late at night. Now, shall we get back to League of Champions? Ah, I hope I don't meet any weird people this time."
So, I can just stream as usual again.
There's no need for any more emotional struggles.
Oh, Gabi did ask to meet...
But since Gabi accepted me becoming a woman,
I think it would be okay to tell her about Yeseul.
Thanks to that, I could continue streaming happily today.
Thinking how fortunate I am to have such good people around me.