“I think it’ll be difficult for about two years… no, three years.”
“….”
"I can understand why your father is against it. He's going to have to live in a single room right now."
“….”
“So, Jeongmin. We—”
“Deduct the cost of the wedding hall.”
Jeong Seok-hyeon, me, that is, Park Jeong-min.
In other words, we look at the First Lady of the distant future.
“For the kids, when you get married later, you should give them rice cakes or something.”
“You want to get rid of the wedding hall? Are you saying we shouldn’t have the wedding?”
"The wedding costs so much. I could easily cover that out of my savings."
“But, if that happens―”
I saw Jeong Seok-hyeon's lips, flustered and trying to say something.
I blocked it with my finger.
“I don’t really like wedding dresses, you know?”
####
A two-story detached house. A modestly sized garden. A giant washing machine, the model immediately preceding the drum washing machine.
And a chauffeur who drives us and a housekeeper who gets off work before dinner.
The First Lady said, when you were young, your family was doing pretty well, right?
“I clearly said no.”
Father.
No, of course not my father. He's Park Jung-min's father.
Anyway, my father, who seems to be the president of a trading company called Daeshin Trading, is very cold.
It seems like no one is in favor of this marriage.
But Aya and I don't have parents.
If we get married as we please, no one will object.
Isn't that a good thing?
"dad!"
"How dare you find me a modeling position… and then you quit that too, and you even said no to graduate school. And that guy who's your older brother, he's a total bastard."
“Don’t talk to me like that.”
“Don’t say anything.”
Father frowns, as if annoyed.
"No parents, no savings, no social standing... Even though I studied law, I'm still at the bottom of the social ladder. I don't even have the money to open a law firm... What? You're going to live in a single room and work hard to save up for a few years?"
"dad!"
“Then why don’t you try living in a small room with that kid and all the cockroaches! You don’t know what poverty is! You don’t know what poverty is….”
Father folds the newspaper he was reading and gets up from the sofa.
“Do whatever you want. But I can’t give you a single penny.”
The bedroom door slammed shut.
A poodle raised inside the house wags its tail and looks at me and my dad.
“Jeongmin-ah.”
My mother calls me.
I walk towards my mom, who is peeling fruit in the kitchen, with my cheeks puffed out.
“Marriage is no joke.”
“Who are you kidding me?! You don’t even know how much I love you!”
“No, I know.”
I see melons beautifully arranged on a plate.
A perfectly trimmed summer melon, without a single flaw.
“That’s why it’s like that.”
"huh?"
“The person you love the most, could be hurt….”
My mother's expression seems to be lost in the distant past.
“It’s marriage.”
"I wouldn't do that. If we don't have money, I'll work to earn it. Do you think I'd be that scared to marry you? Dad, you really are…"
Mom strokes my hand.
I also look at Park Jeong-min's hand at the same time.
Well, rather than seeing, it is a state where consciousness itself becomes one.
Very white, thin, and soft, beautiful hands that have not been through hard work in their entire lives.
“Jeongmin-ah. That’s not it.”
"mom…?"
The First Lady's mother was crying.
“It’s not because of that guy… I’m saying this because I’m worried about you.”
A teardrop falls between the melons.
“Now, the responsibility for that love is entirely yours to bear.”
####
"No, that bastard, the director. He's a total punk, I told you. He doesn't know who our lawyer is. That bastard is obviously stealing our paycheck behind our backs. He's just pretending to be pretending. No, I'm also an employee working for the lawyer."
I rub my eyes.
Oh, I've been to Arcadia with Jeong Seok-Hyeon's consciousness.
I first look around.
Looking at the surroundings, this is the company of a president who has been married for some time.
So, it looks like a building that might be a lawyer's office or something.
A simple office with only a few desks and two flower pots.
The bags of mixed coffee that were eaten cleanly, even down to the bottom, are thrown away in the trash can.
"Anyway, I plan to work there until next month. You should know that, too, Mr. Lawyer."
I'm the manager of the car with a stupid face, no.
I see the manager.
“Manager Cha. No, Director Cha.”
"yes?"
“How much did I get pushed back?”
Director Cha looked at me with an expression that said, "What kind of stupid thing are you talking about?"
“What is it?”
“I’m talking about your salary.”
"Oh, that. I forgot because I was so busy? Does that really matter?"
I get up from my seat.
I am Jeong Seok-hyeon, and Jeong Seok-hyeon is me. My will exists within this space of consciousness.
I know it doesn't affect the timeline, so the outcome itself doesn't change.
Still, I get up and find my work desk.
“What are you doing? Don’t you want coffee?”
Ignoring those words, I open Jeong Seok-hyeon's desk drawer.
Surely, it will be here.
“I found it.”
I take out the file containing my expenditure statement and financial situation and quickly look through its contents.
“….”
Income received from clients. Donations made by anonymous donors.
That's all the income, but it's ridiculously small compared to the number of days worked.
I go through the documents again and again to double-check my income.
No, really. Jeong Seok-hyeon is working like a saint or a fool.
If you only look at net income, I think he probably earns less than the factory workers he helps.
I close the income statement and turn to the expense page.
Office rent, minimum food expenses, and expenses incurred for clients.
There are also a lot of other miscellaneous expenses.
Surprisingly, it's not a deficit. This poor lawyer is miraculously holding on.
However, the income itself converges to 0.
I note the text written below.
Jeong Seok-hyeon is now past the age of youth.
He was calling his wife by her name.
- Jeongmin is pregnant.
- 4 months' unpaid salary to Director Cha as of the 11th.
I see the last line written in red marker.
‘My sin. My karma.’
I closed the document.
"Oh! Seriously, what are you doing? Don't you drink coffee? I heard that new mix coffee from M Company is amazing these days... I should buy some when it's on sale and stock up. Seriously, even at construction sites, everyone drinks it."
I stagger towards the reception desk where the tea room manager is.
I see an envelope. It's the pay envelope that Manager Cha gave me a little while ago.
And I didn't even get the salary I deserved.
This is the daily wage I received for working hard at a construction site in this hot weather.
“You want me to take this?”
"So, is there anyone else here besides you, Mr. Lawyer? Well, I didn't know you were religious. I don't believe in God. Of course, I'm ready to convert at any time. Before I die."
I open the white envelope.
The crumpled ten thousand won note looks like it's shedding tears.
I covered the envelope.
“Take it. It’s okay.”
"Hey, why are you like this? I told you not to drink things like makgeolli. I said it affects your mental clarity. After all, beer is the best alcohol…."
“Take it.”
I raise my body.
“Where are you going?”
“Just quit work today and rest.”
“It’s 1 o’clock now. If a client comes….”
"Just close the office door and buy yourself some cold noodles with that money. Whether or not you get a client... who cares?"
Director Cha was so flustered that he couldn't speak and just blinked.
I closed the office door and walked out into the sweltering street.
It's summer.
####
Jeonju Sundaeguk.
I don't know what the heck Jeonju has to do with Sundae. If that's the case, it should be called Bibimbap.
Anyway, this is where Jeongmin works.
As Kim Gun-woo, I have no way of knowing that, but my body and mind naturally recognize it.
Because I am Jeong Seok-hyeon now.
"Maybe it's because it's so hot, but there's no one here. Hey, Oppa? Should we have some sundae soup?"
“Oh, I hate it. It smells bad.”
“What the… This is too much.”
A college student couple passes by a sundae soup restaurant, smiling, and disappears.
For a moment, I stood there dumbfounded, like someone struck by lightning.
Within, go inside.
The counter is empty, with only the fan spinning quietly.
The news is streaming from an old color TV.
Maybe it's because the weather is hot, but there aren't any customers even though it's late lunch time.
I silently pull out a chair and sit down.
No one comes. It seems the boss isn't the diligent type...
“Do you understand?”
I hear a voice.
The sound seems to be coming from the open kitchen.
I get up quietly and look at him.
Because it is diagonal to the counter, the inside of the kitchen is relatively visible from this side.
You have to bend down a lot to see me in the kitchen.
"Really, I'm probably the only boss who'd hire someone as incompetent as you. Don't you think so?"
"sorry…."
"What good is an apology? You should peel the apple properly. Don't you understand what I'm saying? Huh?"
“No, that’s not it.”
"No way! Oh my! These days, young people are really. Honey. I'm saying this because I have the personality of a mature gentleman. Do you understand? No, do you think this is some kind of Blue House living room? If a guest gets a little drunk, he might just grope your butt! Huh? I touched it. I made a teasing comment. I just touched it!"
“….”
"And, as you live, your heart might get a little bruised. Why are you so sensitive? Huh? You used to be a photo model or something? Then you still model, why do you work at a noodle restaurant? Huh? Huh, huh?"
“Sir, I’m sorry….”
"While we're on the subject, please stop the habit of cutting with a knife facing inward. And don't hold it like that when you're serving sundae soup. Just don't let that pretty face get splattered with hot soup until it spills over you!"
“I’m so sorry….”
"You're good at talking. Anyway, I'll see how you do next month. Then I'll decide whether to keep hiring you or that woman. If you don't do it right, I'll give you a good slap in the face…."
Jeongmin has his eyes closed and his head bowed.
The president is pretending to take a full swing with a spatula.
And then, I was standing in front of the kitchen.
“Oh… Are you a guest? I didn’t realize you were here. Please have a seat! I’ll whip up a bowl for you right away.”
The boss looked embarrassed when he saw me and spoke in a low voice.
My fists are clenched so tightly that it hurts.
“So… customer?”
“I am not a guest.”
“Then… who are you?”
I silently take out a fucking crumpled business card from my fucking old suit.
From that fucking dirty wallet.
“I am a lawyer.”
The boss accepts the business card without saying anything.
“Oh my… Why did the lawyer come to a place like this?”
I bit my lip until it hurt.
“My wife… works here. I stopped by on my way home from work.”
“Hic….”
The boss is silent.
In the pot, the only sound that could be heard was the bubbling sound of the sundae soup boiling.
####
A bride who smells like sundae soup and a groom in an old suit.
I'm walking down the city on a sunny afternoon.
“Get out of there.”
"what?"
My wife looks at me, licking her ice cream with a calm expression.
“I’m talking about the Sundae soup restaurant.”
"why?"
"I don't like the name. What does sundae soup have to do with Jeonju? Bibimbap is Jeonju."
I see her holding my hand tightly.
“Who was the lawyer who said we shouldn’t be bound by formalities and should look from the bottom up?”
“I don’t know, that kid.”
Jeongmin chuckles and squeezes my hand tightly.
Even though the weather is hot, my wife's hands are very cold.
That coolness is so good it's almost fatal.
I keep stroking her fingers.
"If you quit there, where are you going to work? Yeah? You're going to find me a job?"
"I…."
Why are you doing that? I'll just make you money.
It's easy to say. Of course, even if we ignore the relativity that this statement has in capitalism.
And yet, I can't say that one word.
My words are sucked down my throat, as if I'm suffocating in the scorching midsummer heat.
“I’m not going to be working there for long anyway, so I talked to the boss about it.”
I look at her stomach quietly.
As the child grows older, it will be difficult to go out to work at a restaurant.
What am I doing now?
Jeong Seok-hyeon, and I.
I look up at the sweltering summer sky.
The melted ice cream is staining my hands like useless tears.
“Jeongmin-ah.”
"uh?"
“Should I quit?”
She didn't answer my words.
As if he knew what I was saying and what I was trying to say.
He just smiled as if he knew everything.
He smiled more dazzlingly than the scorching midsummer sun.
“I sold it.”
“….”
“We haven’t even had a wedding, so what good are rings and gifts? Right?”
“….”
“Well, it’s a married woman’s attitude to wear a ring.”
Only then do I see the ring on her slender finger.
A ring that glows like a toy, something that even a college student couple wouldn't wear.
“My finger was fat anyway, so the ring didn’t fit. It’s a good thing.”
Her fingers are so white and thin.
Too much, too much, to match that blatant lie.
“Oh, oppa. I have to go back in.”
Cold, thin fingers move away from me.
"I'm late today. Are you late too, Oppa? Are you meeting the people who worked at that factory today? Huh? Why aren't you answering? Anyway! There's cake in the fridge. Eat it when you get off work first! Okay?"
Jeongmin tapped my shoulder as I lowered my head.
I ran towards the restaurant.
Under the dazzling summer sun, her colors and shadows melt and disappear.
The warmth, the kindness, and the coldness all went away.
I look up like an idiot and look at the display case of the store next door.
A once common clock shop filled with clocks and incandescent lamps.
A shiny ebony watch, probably imported from abroad.
But it's a high-tech digital watch.
I noticed that the watch even showed the date.
"ah…."
The cicadas chirp indifferently.
The melted ice cream stick slipped out of my hand and fell to the asphalt.
From my eyes, a dirty liquid also falls and wets the area next to it.
today.
It was our wedding anniversary.