They say people naturally wake up when their surroundings brighten.
No matter how late you go to bed, once morning comes, your brain awakens.
You can try to sleep in, but once your body is activated, it's difficult to resolve fatigue through more sleep.
Well, if you're truly exhausted, your body might continue sleeping despite alarms, even if recovery takes longer.
Thanks to going to bed early yesterday, I was able to wake up before my alarm.
Five-thirty in the morning.
Sunlight gently peeked through the curtains.
Even though it didn't particularly brighten the room.
I wonder if detecting light is a bodily response, or if sunlight needs to shine directly on your eyelids?
I don't know the exact biological or scientific details.
Anyway, it's time to get up, so that's the natural course of action.
In the past, I would have lazed around in bed until about nine.
I'd grab my phone to check community forums, see if the meta had changed,
or watch unusual plays from champions I wasn't familiar with.
But lately, that's been awkward.
Because I've been having breakfast with the couple downstairs at six in the morning.
Well, today I have other plans anyway.
In any case, the lady downstairs had already contacted me.
- Downstairs Lady: Are you coming for breakfast today?
- Noel: I'm sorry... I'm going to visit my mother today
- Noel: I feel bad that I seem to be declining for several days now
I might hesitate to bring this up with friends.
But with the downstairs lady who already knew my situation, there was no need to hide it.
This wasn't about announcing "I have this situation," but rather
explaining that I had unavoidable circumstances preventing me from going downstairs.
- Downstairs Lady: I see...
- Downstairs Lady: I've never visited a prison myself... but wouldn't it be nice to bring some food?
- Downstairs Lady: I heard for military visits, people bring lunchboxes or order delivery food nearby
- Noel: Um... should I?
- Downstairs Lady: Come make some food with me to take with you
- Noel: I feel bad about imposing on you so often...
- Downstairs Lady: I'm just bored haha. Don't feel sorry, why don't you come down a bit later and think of it as keeping me company?
- Noel: Then I'll gratefully accept your kindness
I ended up receiving unexpected generosity.
Though she said she was helping because she was bored,
the kindness of sharing food meant for her own family was
always deeply touching and heartwarming.
So I quickly grabbed my crutches and went downstairs.
If she had simply offered to make a lunchbox for me, I would have firmly declined.
But since she said it was for my mother, it was harder to maintain my pride.
After all, there's a high possibility that my mother stabbed my father to protect me.
While I'm not without resentment toward her,
I feel some gratitude for saving my life and
a sense of responsibility for her imprisonment.
That should become clearer after I visit her today.
From conversations with my aunt, Jaemin, Gabi, and viewers,
there doesn't seem to be many other possibilities.
That's why I want to do something for her.
I hope to convey that I'm doing well, so she shouldn't worry and should focus on safely completing her sentence.
"Oh, you're here? Come in. We'll cook something that shows you made it. The water's already boiling, so would you like to season this and cut the vegetables?"
"Uh..."
But the downstairs lady was too serious about this.
I thought making a lunchbox would mean simply rolling some kimbap or at most frying an egg roll.
But she had laid out all the ingredients on the table, just waiting for me to prepare them.
"Do... do we need to make this much...?"
"I want to try your cooking too. What time is your visit? Usually those things aren't possible until after nine, right?"
"I just scheduled it for the morning, so anytime after nine is fine."
"So we have plenty of time. Now, braised beef ribs are all about sincerity. And what is sincerity? It's the time and effort you put in. Let's start by cutting the vegetables."
The only knife I've ever handled was a utility knife.
Just for sharpening pencils or cutting paper during school classes.
But now she wanted me to pick up the kitchen knife on the cutting board.
For a moment, I flinched as I remembered that knife plunging into my father's back.
...But it wasn't stabbed into me.
While it gave me chills, it wasn't enough to paralyze me.
Come to think of it, this wasn't my first time holding a kitchen knife.
Last time, I grabbed one for self-defense when I thought someone was breaking in.
Though I didn't end up using it.
Maybe because of that,
holding the kitchen knife wasn't completely awkward or paralyzing.
Though I wasn't the one who stabbed him, the memory of my father being stabbed kept making my hand tense up.
But that tension actually helped when cutting vegetables.
At least I wouldn't cut myself by being too careless.
Being overly cautious is better than being reckless.
"Hold the knife like this. And curl your vegetable-holding hand like this. Place your fingertips against the side of the blade when cutting to reduce the risk of cuts. If you keep your fingers straight, you're much more likely to cut yourself by accident."
With the lady helping beside me,
the carrots, onions, green onions, potatoes, and radishes might have been cut unevenly, but at least I wouldn't hurt myself.
After cutting the vegetables, the lady handed me a basin.
"Now we'll make the seasoning. This is soy sauce—measure it using this cup. Fill it about one cup and one-third. Then add two-thirds cup sugar, two-thirds cup cooking wine. And add water equal to the amount of soy sauce."
"Y-yes..."
A flood of instructions.
But well, mixing just four ingredients wasn't that difficult.
The lady wasn't overwhelming me with too many tasks at once.
Only after that process was complete did she tell me to add green onions, sesame oil, and pepper.
Then we poured the sweet and savory marinade into the pot.
A pot that already contained beef ribs.
"Normally, you should drain the blood and boil the meat once. But that's a bit troublesome, isn't it? I've already drained the blood, so we'll do the boiling process all at once here."
"Ah, yes."
And then we boil it.
I glanced at the lady, wondering if we should add the vegetables now, but she didn't mention it.
"Do we add the vegetables later?"
"First, the meat needs to become tender. And although we've drained the blood, we need to let the seasoning soak into the meat while it boils. So we'll boil it for about an hour, skimming off the blood and fat that rise to the surface. That's all part of the sincerity."
"Ah..."
I didn't realize when I was younger.
I never knew that my mother's home cooking required this much dedication.
The recipe itself is simple.
I just had to do what the lady told me, and even without her, I could have followed instructions from the internet.
But the time involved, the preparation...
Isn't that all sincerity?
Even if I was disappointed that her affection for me might have been fake,
I couldn't deny the sincerity that went into the things my mother had done.
I sat on the tall chair the lady provided and skimmed off the blood and fat.
Meanwhile, we chatted about trivial things like how hot the weather had been lately, and if I had plans to go anywhere.
I mentioned that I was planning to go to the beach or swimming pool with friends next week.
We also talked about the lady's daughter—her little boasts and complaints—and the hour passed quickly.
By then, no more foam was rising to the surface.
Finally, with the lady's permission, I added the vegetables I had carefully cut.
Despite my efforts, they were all different shapes.
Neither the size nor thickness was consistent.
"That's what food made by a beginner looks like, hehe. But Noel, you have talent for cooking. Do you think you could make braised ribs by yourself from now on?"
"It's all thanks to your guidance."
Still, I felt proud that I, who could only make ramyeon before, had managed to cook something.
We continued to simmer until the potatoes were cooked and the liquid reduced, adding onions at the end.
With the braised beef ribs packed in a thermal container, the dish for my mother was finally complete.
If nothing else, I could tell her not to worry about me because I was living well.
"Thank you so much. Thanks to you, I won't feel completely awkward when visiting my mother."
"That's right. Food gives you something to break the ice and start a conversation. And I enjoyed getting to eat what Noel made too."
The lady was right.
I had been worried about what to say when facing my mother.
If I tell her I made braised ribs, that should lead to some conversation.
Of course, it was all thanks to the lady who helped with everything from preparing ingredients to providing the recipe.
Now all that's left is to go see my mother with my aunt.