-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: penny
Chapter: 212
Chapter Title: Newspaper Villain
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Crunch, cruuunch-.
Grrr...
Gerrr...
Bone goblins began crawling out from the bone jars scattered around the lab. At the same time, a whooshing wind blew in, slamming the windows shut and snuffing out every lantern inside.
Under the beam of moonlight.
Undead with surreal blue glows in their eyes crawled across the floor.
Scraaaape-.
The sound of their sharp claws raking the wooden floorboards was so deafening and grotesque that even I felt chills creeping up my spine just watching.
“What, what, what, what, what, I don’t get it, I don’t get it, I don’t get it-! What! What is this!!”
Of course, Vinas’s confusion was on another level. She was repeating “what” and “I don’t get it” like a radio stuck on the wrong station.
She seemed lost in panic for a good while, then suddenly threw her head back and burst into laughter.
“I get it! I get it now! You’re a Necromancer! The Necromancer with the blue eyes! The rising rookie adventurer turns out to be a cultist Necromancer! This... this is front-page material. This is a scoop!”
“Yeah, it’d be a scoop. If you survive this, that is.”
“What... what do you mean...?”
“You can’t figure it out after seeing it? This is one of my biggest secrets. You think I’d let someone who knows live?”
“...!”
Finally, some sense piercing through her panic, Vinas’s short navy-blue hair stood on end.
I’d never seen human hair bristle like that before. Guess it happens when you feel your life’s in danger.
“Grab her, all of you.”
At my curt command, the five bone goblins crawling on all fours shot toward Vinas like arrows.
Gaaaargh-!!
“Eeeek!”
The undead charging inspires primal terror in the living. For a naked woman, screaming was probably all she could manage.
Is this how it ends?
As I thought that, Vinas scrambled up and hurled beakers from around the room at the bone goblins.
Crash.
Sizzle-.
The yellowish fluorescent liquid shattered, filling the air with a foul acidic stench as it melted the goblins’ bodies.
“You puny pests! Come on if you dare!”
Vinas clearly wasn’t one to take lightly either. The room was packed with potions whose bizarre ingredients she knew well.
I had the upper hand for now, but dragging this out might let her exploit the space’s advantages and pull some trick. Plus, the noise could draw people from nearby.
So I raised the fallen bone goblins while summoning every bone in the room.
About ten bone goblins filled the lab.
“Y-you... there’s too many...”
Shocked by the sight, Vinas froze—even after confidently smashing potions just moments ago.
Gaaak!
“Eep-!”
A bone goblin seized the opening, tackling her to the ground. The rest piled on, pinning her arms and legs to complete the restraint.
“L-let go, let go- mmmph!”
She struggled, but every twitch just left red scratches from the goblins’ claws on her flat chest.
The scent of blood excited them, and they clamped down harder on the nape of her neck.
Crash.
“M-my glasses—my glasses-!”
“No glasses means you’re blind, huh?”
“Guhhh, guh, d-don’t kill me, spare me, spare me...”
People rely on sight for most senses. Block that, and panic sets in hard.
Vinas was no exception.
Pinned by the undead I’d raised, her vision sealed too, she trembled like a dying woman—her earlier bravado gone.
She even wet herself between the legs.
“Please... s-spare me...! Please, I’m sorry! Forgive me just this once...!”
Anyone facing death begs like this. I didn’t find her pathetic or laughable.
Just a lazy thought: so this is how it ends up.
“Alchemist Vinas. Your sins run deep. You’re headed straight to hell—Tartarus.”
“Eeeeek-!”
Vinas thrashed like a butterfly caught in a web. The more she did, the harder the bone goblins pressed, just making her suffer more.
“H-hell! I don’t want hell! Forgive me-! Forgive me-!”
The name Tartarus holds massive sway over people here. Eternal torment? Terrifying, sure.
Of course, I had no right to send her there.
On the flip side, since Nyx, Tartarus’s ruler, is Luna’s mom, she might personally deal with this woman who harmed Luna. Then my words wouldn’t even be a lie.
“You’re getting thrown into Tartarus, you schemer.”
“Sniff, sob, huh...”
“But if you die now, you can’t apologize to Luna. I’ll give you a stay of execution. One day. Retract your articles, apologize to Luna. Then leave the city and live alone forever, guarding this secret. For life.”
“F-for... life...”
“For life. End your days that way, and I’ll hold off on your trip to hell.”
“...”
Vinas didn’t respond.
She agonized over it, face twisted, then finally asked slowly.
“W-who... who the hell are you...?”
Rustle.
Her unfocused eyes, glasses gone, looked up at me blankly. What did I look like to her?
So I turned the question back.
“What do I look like?”
“...”
No answer again. She just slowly twisted her pinned body toward me, crawling.
Graaah-!!
Thinking she might try something dangerous, the bone goblins crushed down harder.
But I snapped my fingers—crack—and they released her.
“Swear on the River Styx.”
“Huhhh...”
Freed, Vinas crawled toward me on all fours like a small beast. She pressed her lips to my foot where I sat on the sofa.
That was answer enough for anyone.
* * *
Early morning.
Kkuing and the Mitchuris chirped excitedly outside the window.
Chirp chirp, chirp chirp chirp.
Kweeeng, kweeeeng-.
They were so noisy it felt less like birds chirping and more like birds chattering or barking.
Normally I’d wake up scowling, but I’d stayed up all night clean. To me, the dawn birdsong felt kinda poetic.
“Luna, morning.”
Usually Luna shakes her hair to wake me. Today, I shook her awake at first light.
“Luna, morning.”
“Ughhh, ugh, not fake potion-. I worked so hard on it...”
Deep sleeper Luna wouldn’t budge no matter what. From her sleep-talk, she was dreaming of potion troubles.
“Luna, it’s a dream. Get up.”
“Ughhh-.”
“Fried eggs ready. Sausage veggie stir-fry too.”
“Sausage veggie stir-fry?”
Food talk woke her. Sleepy emerald eyes looked up at me.
I set a small tray of breakfast in front of her.
Tiny plates held sausages and fried eggs I’d fetched early, plus iced lemonade steaming cold with ice cubes.
“Whoa, ice in it! Lemonade first thing! Hassan, what’s going on? What day is it? Why up so early?”
“Nothing special. Just, y’know.”
I’d planned cool lines if she asked, but got shy and brushed it off.
As I fidgeted, Luna wolfed down the food like a starving person.
Some lose appetite from stress or trauma. Glad Luna didn’t.
When drained, force-feed stamina into the body.
“Tasty. But you didn’t cook, huh? Bought from the inn!”
“Yeah. Wanted to, but was busy.”
“Busy? Morning? Hassan, did you pull an all-nighter?”
“More importantly, Luna, check this. Newspaper’s here again.”
I handed her a leather sheet while she eyed my face suspiciously, half under the covers.
“N-newspaper...”
Her face soured like biting pure lemon from the lemonade.
“Again... my story?”
“Yeah. Lots of it. Tons.”
“Huhhh...”
Luna shivered like scared.
Having seen harsh coverage before, newspapers now meant scary bad news to her.
“Ugh, d-don’t wanna read. But last time ignoring blew it up, so-.”
Rustle.
She took the leather newspaper from me.
Flip.
Grabbing and turning the thin leather pages, her eyes widened hugely.
“W-what’s this?”
“Newspaper.”
“My story’s in it? ‘Luna Noxdoty buys sodomora for 50 gold in Horomable. Land speculation suspicions!’ What?!”
“Keep reading.”
“L-let’s see, ‘Cabin Watchman Kkungkkungi’s scandalous romance... with a small young spider.’ Huh? What? What is this?”
Luna blinked in confusion, flipping pages. The rest was just silly nonsense not worth printing.
Luna Noxdoty tending the yard. Declares war on tanuki-.
Luna dominates Hippolyte matches, now Gold Tier herself?-
Rustle rustle-.
Flipping to the end, she spotted the byline.
“By Hassan! You made this newspaper!”
“Like it?”
Last night while she slept, I’d erased the leather paper and overwrote it with new stories.
No writing skill, first time, so even simple stuff took all night.
One-day brainstorm, but I poured heart into it.
Watching her reaction, wondering if she liked it—suddenly tears welled in her big eyes.
“I-I’ve never gotten anything like this. Best gift ever since I was born! A whole newspaper about me-!”
She seemed deeply moved.
My nose stung too. Imagining girlfriend events paid off, huh.
I played it cool.
“Soon, our stories’ll be on everyone’s lips, not just papers. This is practice.”
“Yeah, yeah-.”
Wiping tears with her palms, Luna beamed. Felt like lingering grudges between us melted away.
Lesson from this: fighting and making up are harder than thought.
Gotta be careful from now on.
As I thought that, Luna declared firmly.
“I’ll reveal the recipes openly to everyone...!”
“Really? You sure?”
“Yeah. Not everyone can replicate even if they want. Hiding forever just fuels conspiracies. Better to lay it all out light.”
“Alright, if that’s it...”
“And Hassan-.”
“Yeah?”
Luna fidgeted, lips smacking. Like words hovered at her throat, not quite out.
“What?”
“...Th-thanks. And sorry for getting mad...”
“Nah, my fault.”
Rustle.
“...”
Then Luna squeezed her eyes shut, arms out wide. What? Then I realized: hug me.
She’s shy in her own way.
Feeling awkward too, I gave her a light hug.
Her soft chest pressed against me—felt great. And from sleeping sweaty, she smelled sweetly peachy.
Cue the rise below.
“Uh, um, Hassan...”
“Can’t help it. Physiology.”
“Not that— you smell like that sister I know. Vinas sis-.”
“...Probably imagination. Must’ve rubbed off when we were at her lab.”
“Really-?”
Romance ain’t all easy.
Thus.
Afternoon rolled around.
Luna, Paranoya, and I stood before the grand gates of the Alchemists’ Guild headquarters.
Even compared to temples, it didn’t pale. Felt their potion wealth vividly.
Healing’s legally restricted, so folks buy recovery potions galore.
“Hassan, actually going in... nervous. Mess up brewing, total embarrassment. Okay?”
“Just do your usual. Let’s go.”
Pushing the huge gates to enter— that’s when we ran into an unexpected face.
“Gah, Samaritan? Pinky too? Why’re you at the Alchemists’ Guild-!?”
A woman panicked at us like we were indecent.
Silver Tier necklace around her neck—Calcutta adventurer team leader, Delphina. Heard she’d been quiet lately; who knew here.