I went to the prison with friends this time, unlike my previous visit with my aunt.
Perhaps because they had less life experience than my aunt, both Gabi and Jaemin were frozen stiff, barely speaking a word in the taxi.
Well, that's understandable.
The image of prison isn't exactly pleasant, no matter how you look at it.
Law-abiding, ordinary people rarely have any reason to visit such places.
Of course, there are cases of false accusations or accidents where people make unintentional mistakes.
But generally, prisons and correctional facilities are places for those who have committed crimes.
However, after visiting my mother once, I did some research on these facilities and found they're primarily meant for rehabilitation.
While imprisonment is certainly a punishment, if we merely isolated criminals from society without rehabilitation, wouldn't that be a waste of resources from a broader perspective?
The space to confine them, the costs of meals, heating and cooling, clothing, and the personnel to manage them—if all these resources were considered wasteful, one might propose extreme measures like executing all criminals. Wasn't there even a manga about that? Some kind of notebook, I think.
But considering the cost of raising a person to adulthood, killing someone for one mistake would be a tremendous waste from the government's perspective.
The main purpose of prisons is to help those who've made mistakes avoid repeating them and reintegrate into society.
Of course, I don't know what the reality is since I haven't been imprisoned myself.
But based on what I've heard and how the guards treated my mother, I didn't get the impression they treated inmates as less than human.
So I believe that's how it is, or at least I hope so.
But I only know this because I looked into it myself, and only because a family member was imprisoned.
If not for that, my thoughts about prison would probably be no different from Jaemin's or Gabi's.
Anyway, maybe it was the awkward silence in the taxi, or perhaps the discomfort of having three women sitting in silence, but the taxi driver seemed uncomfortable and tried to break the ice.
"So, why are you going to the prison? Boyfriend? Or maybe some kind of settlement meeting...?"
"Settlement?"
I could understand the boyfriend visit part, but settlement came out of nowhere.
Usually, you'd only visit someone in prison if you were close to them, right?
But as the taxi driver continued, I understood the context of his question.
"I hope I'm not being rude, but if the person who caused your condition is serving time, wouldn't you need to get a settlement payment from them?"
"Ah."
Did he think I was taking a disability taxi because of the person I was visiting?
Well, in a way, that wasn't entirely wrong.
My mother did have some part in how things turned out.
Of course, I don't blame or resent her for my condition.
The bad one was the man who was my father.
And he's already dead and gone.
Thinking about him used to make me uncomfortable, but that's in the past now.
I feel nothing anymore. Someone who's already dead can't influence my future anyway.
...Does saying it like that make me sound too much like a gaming addict?
Anyway, since I wasn't upset, I almost burst out laughing at the misunderstanding.
Not to mock him or because it was particularly funny, but because there's something endearing about someone worrying over a misunderstanding.
I could feel Gabi and Jaemin watching me nervously from the front, maintaining their silence while gauging my reaction.
So I calmly replied:
"Ah, my missing eye and leg are from different causes. We're visiting my mother, and she didn't cut off my leg or blind me or anything like that."
"Oh, I see... I apologize. I didn't mean it that way."
"It's fine. You didn't mean any harm. Her charge is murder, but she killed someone who wasn't really human to save me."
"Oh my. In that case, what could she do? Even though they say murder can never be justified, she was just trying to protect her daughter."
After I explained why my mother was in prison, the taxi driver was visibly shocked but agreed emphatically, as if wanting to end this uncomfortable topic.
No matter how much he wanted to dispel the silence in his taxi, this subject was bound to be awkward. So I secretly messaged Gabi and Jaemin, who were still stiff.
- Yun Noel: Why are you two so stiff haha, everyone already knows
- Ju Gabi: How can we laugh and chat about something like this ㅠㅠ
- Celesti: I knew about it... but it's the first time hearing it directly from you...
- Yun Noel: Huh? How did you know if this is the first time I've told you?
- Celesti: You talk about all this on your streams ㅠㅠ
- Celesti: Just search your name and check the wiki, it's all there...
- Yun Noel: There's something like that? I'm not a celebrity or particularly famous
- Celesti: Says the person who just became a pro gamer
- Ju Gabi: Noel is basically a celebrity!!!
Jaemin was sharing some strange news. Sure, I might have become a bit more famous than the average person, but I'm not a celebrity who appears on variety shows regularly. Nor am I a singer or movie actor producing creative works. There's a document summarizing information about me?
Curious, I was about to look it up when Jaemin stopped me.
- Celesti: If you haven't seen it yet, check it with your viewers
- Celesti: Well, you're on break now... so after the tournament when you stream again
- Yun Noel: Ok
- Yun Noel: But does this kind of thing really make good content?
- Ju Gabi: There are lots of ego-searching content out there haha
- Ju Gabi: Even foreign actors do this when promoting new movies
- Yun Noel: I see
I wasn't quite sure what it would be like—reviewing documentation and evaluations about oneself? While I was pondering this, the taxi driver announced that we had arrived at the prison I had visited previously with my aunt.
Whether there was demand for such content or not, Jaemin's intervention was helpful. If I had searched for it now, I would have had to leave without properly examining it.
So I got into my wheelchair, while my friends used their own two legs. We got out of the taxi and followed the prison staff's guidance to the visiting room. Soon after, my mother entered the room, escorted by a guard.
My mother, who had looked so haggard during my last visit, seemed to have gained some weight in her cheeks and her expression had softened—perhaps because she no longer worried about me. However, after greeting me happily, she showed a mix of surprise and concern when she saw Gabi.
"I appreciate you visiting despite your busy schedule. I see Gabi and another friend I haven't met before. How...?"
I was momentarily confused by her surprise, but then I realized—considering I used to be male and am now female, it made sense. She was probably wondering if Gabi and Jaemin knew about my situation.
"Hello, ma'am. Seeing you here suffering after saving Noel makes me feel terrible. Especially since you had to raise Noel as a boy in that household... Noel is doing well with us outside. She's even eating more these days. She used to just sip the broth of her hangover ramen in the morning, but today she ate all the noodles too."
"What? Why are you bringing that up?"
Thankfully, Gabi, who was quicker than me, smoothly mediated the situation. Gabi obviously knew I was born male, but her words let my mother know that Jaemin believed I had always been female.
I was grateful, though a bit embarrassed by the additional comment. Why mention I'd been drinking last night? My mother might think I'm a drunk.
"Hello, Mrs. Yun. I'm Jaemin, who recently became friends with Noel. Please speak comfortably."
"I see. Nice to meet you. I'm embarrassed we have to meet like this."
"Not at all. You're here because you protected Noel. It must be tough staying here, but please don't worry and take care of your health until you're released. When you get out, Noel will have wonderful news for you!"
"Hehe, thank you. Actually, I think I'm healthier now than when I was outside, with less mental stress. They make us exercise here. But what wonderful news are you talking about?"
Fortunately, as if they had rehearsed what to talk about, Jaemin's smooth conversation prevented my mother from questioning my drinking habits.
Well, maybe it's because I've never caused trouble while drinking before. Still, I'm not her son anymore but her daughter, and somehow drinking feels embarrassing to mention in front of my mother.
Anyway, since Jaemin had broken the ice, I should tell her about what I'm doing now.
"I've become a professional gamer. It's for a popular game called League of Champions. We're in the middle of a tournament now. I've properly gotten a job. I've also brought some money for you to use here."
Having an income makes a person feel dignified. Although I had just joined HLG a month ago and hadn't received my salary yet, I had withdrawn some of the donation money from my internet broadcasts. I kept just enough for living expenses until payday and brought the rest for my mother.
My son—no, now daughter—has a proper job and is living healthily and working hard. Don't worry. Feeling proud of conveying this message, I smiled at my mother.
But for some reason, my mother's face grew darker.
"Professional gamer...? Noel, you were a good student. Don't you want to go back to school, study more, and get a proper job? Of course, being a pro gamer is a good profession too. But it has a short lifespan, and unless you're the best, the treatment isn't great. Wouldn't it be better to graduate from university and get a stable job?"
...Ah.
I never expected our opinions would differ on this.