Rowan's darkened mind cleared up at the sound of the sword weakly striking the floor.
"why..."
The pitch-black aura that had once enveloped Hannah had long since departed. Now, Rowan could only see Hannah, her shoulders trembling weakly.
"Why did you do that..."
Hannah grabbed Rowan by the collar and asked him with bloodshot eyes. It was a question she'd asked countless times, but couldn't find an answer.
“No matter how much I think about it, I can’t understand it… If there was a reason, it wouldn’t hurt less!”
"..."
"Is it because of your talent...? I showed you...! I learned Auror earlier than my father when he was young! Why don't you understand?"
Rowan lowered his head at Hannah's bloodshot question, unsure of what to say.
It felt like no matter what I said, it would just be an excuse, and even if I apologized, it felt like it wouldn't get across.
'As a father...'
As a father, I have made a fool of myself to my daughter.
I picked up the sword.
Because I put the aura in it.
Rowan, dizzy with the thought that he might have hurt her, silently held out his sleeve.
Rowan thought.
'You are disqualified as a father.'
How ugly could he become? Rowan was now afraid of himself. Hannah had reached out first, but he still hadn't taken her hand.
'...You're stupid.'
Hannah, annoyed by her father's unresponsive appearance, roughly grabbed his collar and pulled it.
"I just wanted to be acknowledged by my father! I wanted to say one more thing, so I ran like crazy...! Why... did you treat me so cruelly!!!"
Rowan's heart tightens at the sound of Hannah's trembling voice, as if his breathing is becoming more difficult.
"I just wanted to be a daughter that my father could be proud of, like everyone else. Did you hate me that much?"
"...Hannah."
Rowan raised his trembling hand.
Because I wanted to pat Hannah's shoulders, which seemed to carry a heavy burden. I knew it was rude, but I wanted to put my hand on my daughter's shoulder.
But his strong stubbornness wouldn't allow it.
Rowan clenched his fist and bit his lip, his hand not moving easily. His arrogant self still refused to give in to his stubbornness.
Why was he hesitating like this? Rowan hated his hands, which were foolishly unable to find their place.
Rowan silently watched Hannah, who was clutching him by the collar, wondering how he could handle the torrent of resentment.
"Do you hate me that much, Dad?"
"I am..."
"Tell me!!"
Rowan, with little experience, lowered his head and clenched his fists. He had no excuses.
Everything around him was like that.
Father's education too.
Mother's indifference too.
Discrimination between brothers.
Everything was far from ideal for a family.
-Is this all the kid who leads Histania can do? Get out of my sight right now! No, right, I think it would be faster to just give birth and raise a new one.
-...Living up to Father Rowan's expectations. That's what this mother needs. Father's words are always right.
-Hey, you think you have the world because your father loves you? But once you're all gone, there won't be much difference between you and me, right? Everyone's waiting for you to fall. That way, when you die, there won't be any trouble.
It was the worst. The whole situation.
It was the same with my friend.
That guy who carries on Desmund's family business was also treated harshly by his parents.
-Hey~ How did you survive with that kind of treatment? I ended up getting hit in the face with a fireball.
-Aren't you and I the same?
-That's true. But we're in the shadows. You're Histania.
Maybe I thought this treatment was natural because of the circumstances I was in.
They say that coercive education is for the good of children.
The father wanted his children to succeed.
My father knew the way.
Because I was taught that if I did that, both my family and my children would be satisfied.
It had to continue.
I didn't want to be a respected father. I wanted to be a better head of the household than my predecessors, and I wanted to be a father recognized by my children.
Even in the world.
To the children too.
And to my wife too.
I thought I raised him with the utmost comfort, vowing not to end up like his predecessors, but I bowed my head in shame when I realized that the only conclusion I could come up with was the worst.
-Pass...
Now I know that my best was wrong.
-Passs ...
It felt like cracks were forming in my firm heart that had never wavered.
My wife, whom I couldn't protect.
And to my love, who I ended up hurting because of my arrogance…
-Sizzle...
Rowan's heart began to tremble at the thought that all the misfortunes were his own. He looked at it not as "you incompetents," but as "Father."
Now I feel like the broken puzzle pieces are finally falling into place.
-Pasasak...
Until now, I myself.
It's not that I'm not afraid of the feeling of regret. It's that I'm afraid of the regret that comes from within me and returns to me.
-Wow...
Rowan's stubbornness, which was starting to crack, crumbled along with the noise.
Rowan, wondering why he couldn't hold her, moved his stubborn hand with difficulty.
Rowan, carrying her daughter's sorrow in her heart, spoke in a choked voice.
"...no."
Hannah's shoulder, lightly touched, felt incredibly small. It felt so small and fragile that I worried if she was even eating properly. It's funny how I'm only now beginning to think like a father.
'...I realized it too late.'
Right now, at this moment, nothing came to mind.
Also used black magic.
Another side of Hannah.
No, maybe even Hannah, the image of a future monster she had created herself. It was blocked by her daughter's delicate shoulders, unable to escape. Why did she realize it only now?
Rowan bowed his head, hugging Hannah tightly. Then he carefully whispered his thoughts into her ear.
"No... that's not it."
It might be conveyed though.
Hannah might not accept these words, but Rowan whispered to her with his last bit of stubbornness.
"I am..."
"What are you doing now..."
"I... don't hate you."
“Do you think I’ll believe that…?!”
Rowan closed his eyes tightly at Hannah's aggressive question and answered, breaking his stubbornness.
"maybe."
"I guess it's because I'm not a good father."
Hannah looked up, surprised by Rowan's answer, which fell into a long silence.
"What...did you say...?"
Rowan swallowed, hugging Hannah's shoulder.
"I never thought that the path I had taken so far was wrong."
"...As expected, Dad never changes...!"
"No, that's what I thought until now."
Rowan hugged Hannah tightly as he continued. He spoke with difficulty, begging her to listen to his feeble excuses, at least for this moment.
“I never thought I was wrong in raising the family’s reputation the most since the invitation….”
"..."
"So... that's why I was so stubborn."
Rowan took a sharp breath.
"I wanted you to become like me. I wanted you to become even better lords than me, to lead Histania, and to become stars that shine even brighter than they are now."
"..."
"But... at the same time, I also had this thought."
Rowan spoke to Hannah, bringing out the small pain deep within him. It was something he couldn't easily share with others, something he'd been afraid would hurt him.
He said it with sadness.
"I was wondering if you guys would have to go through the pain I went through."
"..."
"Brothers holding knives to each other's throats. A father sending you off to war. I didn't want you to experience that. For me, that experience was a bad memory."
"So what? Are you asking me to understand? No. I can't do it."
Rowan endured Hannah's pounding anger with an awkward smile.
"I'm not asking for your understanding. I'm telling you how stupid I am."
"..."
"I'm sorry that this is all I've learned."
Rowan said to Hannah with a bitter sigh.
"It seems that the strongest thing for a Sword Master isn't force, but stubbornness. It seems that even with the passage of time, it hasn't dulled."
Rowan spoke to Hannah in a sad voice.
"I am still a father with many shortcomings."
"..."
“I grew up learning nothing and seeing only bad things, so I only brought you sorrow.”
"It's an excuse."
"Right. Excuse."
Rowan couldn't deny Hannah's words. Even at this moment, his stubbornness was twitching. It's difficult to change stubbornness built over a long period of time in an instant.
"That's why I'm telling you."
So Rowan suppressed his fear and said to Hannah.
He spoke to Hannah in a choked voice, feeling a greater fear than he had ever experienced in any of the countless battles he had faced.
"My lame excuses are just beginning."
"..."
"Even if you don't listen."
"..."
"Even if you don't understand."
"..."
"Even if you don't call me father, I intend to continue making these lame excuses."
Rowan spoke to Hannah in a trembling voice.
“Until the moment I become a proud father to you… for the rest of my life.”
Hannah's chest-thumping movements had slowed. Now all she could do was tremble her delicate shoulders and shed tears.
Rowan expressed his gratitude to his daughter who gave him so many opportunities despite his shortcomings.
"I'm sorry. And thank you for coming to me."
"..."
"I'm really... sorry that my best efforts have brought you misfortune."
Rowan hugged Hannah tightly.
Thinking I would never miss it again.
He whispered his true feelings into Hannah's ear.
"I'm really sorry for being a bad father."
"..."
"Now, I'm really... going to change."
[Listen to Histania Rowen's heartfelt apology. (0/1)]
.
.
.
-Ding.
[0/1 > 1/1]
-Quest completed.
Rowan said, hugging Hannah.
"Yes, black."
"..."
"You were not wrong."
Rowan's atonement began to take slow steps.