329 - Carrot and Stick #3

Looking back now, ever since childhood, I often heard that I lacked concentration. It was hard for me to focus on one thing, so I'd quickly bounce around.

Perhaps worried about me, my mother put me into a cram school when I was an elementary school student, almost as if she were imprisoning me.

I remember her repeatedly emphasizing to the academy director, "My child seems like they could do anything well if they tried, but they just lack concentration."

However, during breaks at the academy, I would run around with my friends, stomping all over the desks or zooming through the hallways on inline skates, and I'd end up getting scolded by the teachers every single day.

━San-ah, when you run around, all the other kids run too. Break time's over, so sit down now.

━I'm not San, I'm Gaogaigar! Hiooooot-!

━You little rascal, hold out your palm!

Still, I was coincidentally good at figuring things out, so I never fell out of the top ranks in competitions or school exams. It even got to the point where they'd hang banners with my name on them on academy buses and neighborhood utility poles every season.

That same distractibility continued into middle school, but as I entered puberty, I became quite a precocious child, so the ADHD-like symptoms of constantly running around subsided.

━Hey, you're spacing out again. What's the answer to question 25?

━Number 5.

━Where's a number 5 in a subjective question, you brat-. I told you not to space out during class!

However, my habit of not being able to easily focus on anything remained, so instead of running around, I would often get lost in daydreams or fantasies.

What if I'm actually an amazing person?

What if I could use superpowers if I just tried hard enough, or see the materialized lines of death? What if my father was actually a magic-user, and I'd get caught up in a war over magical artifacts?

Thoughts a second-year middle schooler would have.

It's a funny story everyone probably experiences at some point, but I never doubted that I could do such things, and looking back now, I guess I was half right.

Perhaps, even back then, I was trying to realize that I was different from others, an extraordinary person?

"Hassan, you're having random thoughts during meditation again, aren't you?"

"No, I wasn't. I was meditating properly."

"Then what's the answer to the question I asked?"

"Number 3."

"Where's a number 3 in a subjective question, you idiot!"

Chalsak-.

"Geueeek-!"

Something hit my shoulder, and I couldn't help but tear up a little. Its identity, without even needing to ask, was the flyswatter-like whip that Friede had been fond of using since way back.

To think that even I, who had become incomparably stronger than when I was a slave, could still be affected by a whipping.

But on the other hand, I wanted to make excuses, saying it couldn't be helped.

A whip is a fucking powerful weapon that has been passed down since ancient times.

No matter how skilled a master or warrior, they can't train the nerve endings in their skin that feel pain, so they can't help but cry and scream like children when whipped across such a large area.

But what if I could fully utilize muscles I don't normally use throughout my body to disperse the pain?

What if, instead of just feeling pain on my skin, I could use my entire body like a shock absorber to dull the pain of the whipping?

Wouldn't I be the first human among all of humanity to be able to overcome a whipping? To let pain flow away. For pain, too, is like a flowing stream-.

At that moment, a refreshing sensation, like a gushing stream, burst into my head. I'd wager that this feeling is what they call enlightenment.

"This bastard, he's thinking about other things even while getting whipped! Thinks he's gotten a bit tougher, huh!"

"Shhh, pain is merely a state. In the end, that too shall pass. This is the answer I've reached through meditation."

All of this is destined to pass, and the physical pain I'm feeling will also naturally subside someday.

You could say I've now realized the wisdom of the wise King Solomon, who said that everything is futile and vain. Did Solomon already understand such things before the Common Era?

"No, feel the mana. Don't think strange thoughts."

"Ah."

Only then did I realize that this meditation wasn't about pain and suffering, but about feeling mana.

A few hours after bowing my head to Friede and entering the beginner magic school.

I immersed myself in meditation, trying to feel whatever mana was, as Friede instructed. But as the time spent sitting cross-legged and contemplating grew longer, I naturally started thinking about other things.

But just now, it really felt like I had achieved some kind of enlightenment. Was it just my imagination?

At that moment, I felt a tingling sensation on my right shoulder.

This was proof that someone was attacking me. I had been defenseless while lost in meditation, but such an obvious attack was useless against the current me.

Seueuk-.

I quickly rolled my body, evading the sudden ambush.

"Your whipping won't work on me anymore, Friede. I've already surpassed my past self."

"No, don't dodge! Getting hit by this whip is part of the training! If you keep doing that, I won't teach you magic!?"

"Hey, Elfi. Your shouting voice is echoing loudly outside. The whole inn is noisy."

Just then, someone opened the door of the old inn room and entered.

Golden bobbed hair, a sharp rapier tucked into her waist, practical leather clothing full of belts and pockets. A silver necklace around her neck.

It was Delphina, a female swordswoman active in the Silver Tier adventurer team, Silver Rose.

"Ah, Delphi. Welcome."

"Why the long face since lunchtime?"

"That bastard keeps pissing me off, that magic-less bastard. He asked me to teach him, but he just keeps spouting nonsense."

At Friede's furious complaint, her face red, Delphina laughed for a long time, then soon pulled something out of the pouch at her waist.

It was a strange object. Dried leaves rolled up in thin paper. An odd, unfamiliar smell made me dizzy.

Is it a cigarette? So Delphina was a smoker.

It's common for women who do tough physical work, like Antiope and Delphina, to do something similar to smoking, so it's not that surprising.

"Want a puff of mana herb?"

"No, I'm good. You know I don't smoke that stuff."

"No, Elfi, not you, Hassan."

Delphina offered me what she called a mana herb cigarette, or whatever it was. But I had no desire to learn smoking, so I tried to politely refuse.

"You said you wanted to feel mana. If you smoke one of these, you'll probably feel mana easily."

At Delphina's additional explanation, my ears perked up for a moment. As if she had noticed my thoughts, Delphina added another word in an even more subtle voice.

"Do you know how amazing it is to be able to feel mana? It's truly incredible. The world feels completely different."

"Delphi, you know that while mana herb increases mana sensitivity, its drawbacks are greater. It's not something to recommend to beginners. Especially not to men."

"Of course I know. Men become sensitive to pleasure and become premature, or conversely, become desensitized and become slow to climax, right?"

"Th-this, fuck, get that horrible thing away from me right now!"

I was utterly horrified by that fucking terrible story. In response, Delphina chuckled like a back-alley thug and neatly tucked the mana herb cigarette behind my ear.

"Try hard, friend. Anyway, I heard you came from Delphi, so I thought I'd see your face after a long time. But I can't interrupt your meditation time. I'll come back later-."

With that, Delphina turned her back and disappeared from the room. Only when her hand, waving high above her head, vanished down the stairs, was I finally able to speak.

"Did you make up with those guys?"

"Well-."

Friede replied, sitting on the bed.

"There's nothing to 'make up' about. It's common for adventurers to fight and then meet again. Anyway, stop trying to distract yourself and sit back down on the floor. Concentrate on your meditation."

"...."

Following Friede's words, I sat down on the hard wooden floor of the inn room. I closed my eyes and regulated my breathing, just as I had before.

"Empty your mind. If you empty your mind, your body will empty, and when your body is empty, mana will naturally fill it."

As Friede said, I tried to empty my mind.

But as I had repeatedly mentioned earlier, concentrating on meditation was quite difficult, and I didn't feel much mana.

Emptying my mind, huh-.

This time, I decided to focus my concentration inward.

Following the Aura manipulation I had learned from Hippolyte, I paid attention to what could be called the source of life, slowly moving from my lower abdomen.

Jeorit, Jirit-.

Then, I felt a strange heat, which could be called a peculiar warmth, flowing throughout my entire body, riding on my heartbeat all the way to my fingertips.

My bloodstream, flowing through my veins, could be said to contain a strange power that awakened my body.

"Hey, Friede! I can feel mana! Inside me, such clear magical power was flowing!"

"That's not mana, that's Aura. The two are distinctly different."

"This, fuck. I don't know what the difference between the two is."

"It can't be helped. Mana and Aura are fundamentally opposing resources. If you master one, you can't learn the other."

At those words, I felt a shock as if I had been hit on the head.

I think I understand why the daughters of Mars can't wield magic. They have innate talent for wielding Aura and sword energy, but they have no aptitude for things like magic.

It immediately made sense why Antiope had been so delighted when she shot lightning from her hands.

"No, does that mean I won't be able to wield mana or magic?"

"If you were an ordinary person, yes. But being able to wield even one of them is already amazing."

"That's..., true."

I pulled out the dagger tucked into my waist.

It was my gathering dagger, which had been corroded by the Hydra's venom, but the 1 Gold I paid for its repair seemed to have a great effect, as its performance was now as good as new. The blade was also gleaming, making it look cool.

Seueeuk-.

I tried to channel the tingling sensation flowing through my arm and fingertips into the dagger.

Then, the dagger's blade gleamed with a strange, reddish hue, accompanied by a Woowoong- vibration.

Although not much has been revealed, Aura is said to be the life energy each individual possesses.

Unlike Hippolyte's Aura, which was golden, my Aura was a rather unsettling blood-red.

As I gazed at it, I saw Friede's eyes, reflected in the dagger's blade, staring at me.

She said.

"If you can wield Aura to that extent, you won't have any trouble making a living for the rest of your life, will you?"

"That's true. But if I want to get a noble's letter of recommendation, they told me to learn magic."

"What happens if you get a letter of recommendation and build a Temple? Is there really a need for that? I don't know what you want to do anymore."

"Me neither. But I've started to wonder what else I can do. What I can become. How high I can climb."

"So you want to become some kind of great god? Like Hassan, God of Gold, or something."

A great god, huh.

That wouldn't be bad.

However, my efforts weren't solely for that reason.

I said.

"Friede, do you remember riding on the dragon's back and looking down at the world? I felt pretty good then. If I really become a god, I'll be able to see that kind of scenery every day, won't I?"

"...."

Whether she understood my feelings, or simply gave up on understanding, Friede just sat on the bed and remained silent. That explanation was enough for now.

There was something else I truly wanted to do, but I didn't particularly want to explain it. Hassan, the son of Ha Dae-su, owner of the health food shop. Zigres, the Son of Pluto.

Both are me. But I've never liked always having the label of 'my father's shadow' attached to me.

I wanted to surpass my father.

I want to do what I want to do, not inherit my father Pluto's Temple, and not inherit my father's health food shop.

I didn't really know what I wanted to do, and I didn't know when I would find out, but I was sure it wasn't inheriting the health food shop.

Honestly, I always wanted to tell my father. To tell him that I didn't really want to inherit the health food shop.

But my father's back was like a wall, too broad and vast for me to ever climb over, no matter how much I grew.

Now, I want to climb over it.

"Friede, I'm going to start meditating again, so stop interrupting me."

"Interrupting what? When did I ever interrupt? You bastard-."

Hoo-. I exhaled briefly, emptying my lungs, then immersed myself in meditation.

Emptying my mind, emptying my body, huh.... But I just can't figure out what this mana is. How am I supposed to empty and fill it?

Can I do this within a week?

Just as I was pondering that slightly, I felt a faint stir behind me as Friede, sitting on the bed, opened her mouth slightly.

MnZBMElkRjFKc3ZCR0RiWklQRlA5WlZINzRaZThhUzZ1cnMyS01IbEgxYUdGQ0VCVWlBTG01NFViYWdtZXZHbQ

"If you're really in a hurry, there is a way to make you feel mana in a short period of time."